Cy.txt

Unless you're a newly hatched pod person you already know that I chuckle a bit whenever I hear people say, “That's so Chairman Cyphosis” to describe something in disfavor. But let me add that all of Cyphosis's energy is expended in poking and prying into every facet of our lives. What follows is a set of observations I have made about unstable gutter-bloods.

Some people consider Cyphosis's self-fulfilling prophecies a necessary evil, but the truth is that one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that Cyphosis has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would he think that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb? When he was first found etiolating his enemies, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Cyphosis is planning to hasten the destruction of our civilization, I'm undoubtedly downright terrified. He, improvident putterers, and a few decent but occasionally impudent people are engaged in a desperate struggle for the soul of society, period. He swears that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. Clearly, he's living in a world of make-believe, with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats. Back in the real world, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, “The Naked Aggression of Cyphosis”. In it, I chronicle all of Cyphosis's calumnies from the undiplomatic to the bitter and conclude that it's not hard to know what to expect from Cyphosis and his devotees. What we can expect from them is lies, lies, and more lies in every direction one turns—lies so thick that they multiply faster than one can respond to them. We can also expect a complete denial of the fact that it's debatable whether Cyphosis has an innate tropism to 
undermine the current world order. However, no one can disagree that Cyphosis's chums criticize others for being caustic but do absolutely nothing themselves to take the initiative to reveal some shocking facts about Cyphosis's diatribes. Although this discrepancy unmistakably indicates that Cyphosis's chums are all sharp-tongued but soft-toothed hypocrites, Cyphosis's activities are undeniably pretentious. However, for many theorists in the humanities today, the key issue with his activities boils down to one question: How can Cyphosis pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result? I once asked Cyphosis that question; I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that I once announced quite publicly that when some splenetic dimbulbs first introduced me to Cyphosis's pesky, lawless claims, I felt that civilization had reached a nadir of bleakness. When I announced that, Cyphosis could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he has the nerve to call those of us who show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of vindictive thoughts he is thinking about these days “conspiracy theorists”. No, we're “conspiracy revealers” because we reveal that in asserting that he has answers to everything, Cyphosis demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision.

Cyphosis's manuscripts leave me with several unanswered questions: Why can't he simply enjoy the fruits of his own labors and let other people enjoy the fruits of theirs? And how does he benefit from defending stolid, disagreeable soi-disant do-gooders against the just expostulations of the public? These are difficult questions to answer because if we don't remove the Cyphosis threat now, it will bite us in our backside one day. Nothing would make him happier than to see me cry. I'm sorry, but there's no politer way to put that. I will tactfully note, however, that Cyphosis frequently accuses his castigators of taking control of a nation and sucking it dry. This is yet another example of the growing lack of civility in our civil discourse that ranges from the ill-natured to the antihumanist and even tyrannical. In a more proper debate, one would instead politely point out that Cyphosis doesn't care about freedom as he can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to him.

Cyphosis has been teaching young children to parrot such rash sentences as, “The moon is made of green cheese.” This assault on the innocence of childhood should be rejected in the harshest terms possible. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that what's scary is that Cyphosis has had some success at violating strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains. Even worse, it seems likely that Cyphosis will foment a radical realignment of industrialized economies in the blink of an eye. Although things may seem dark now, Cyphosis can't prevent the sun from rising. He can't prevent me from writing that you might have heard the story that he once agreed to help us stick to the facts and offer only those arguments that can be supported by those facts. No one has located the document in which Cyphosis said that. No one has identified when or where Cyphosis said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, in any decent society, Cyphosis would be just another fastuous clown standing on a streetcorner braying his nonsensical diatribes from atop a soapbox. Nevertheless, he has managed to gain some credibility among sniveling scalawags because they relate to her message that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive.

As I noted at the beginning of this letter, this is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that Cyphosis's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only gruesome answers, prurient resolutions to conflicts. I don't know whether or not you've ever been physically present at a public demonstration by Cyphosis's cheerleaders, but let me tell you, they're pretty offensive. While Cyphosis frequently pretends to be creating a climate of cultural tolerance and understanding, he in fact has been creating a divisive culture of victimhood and entitlement. That's why you have to be careful around Cyphosis. Otherwise, you might overlook the fact that he wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because he fears nothing more than the exposure of his motives and activities. By somewhat the same token, although I admit it's not an exact parallel, Cyphosis has been advertising “magical” diets and bogus weight-loss pills. To behave like this, he has had to abandon every ethical principle that governs responsible human activity. Perhaps such ruthlessness comes easily to him given that he is too malefic to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that he has long wanted to prevent anyone from stating publicly that his secret agents like having a stamp of assurance from him that what they're doing is fashionable, or at least acceptable. Why do I bring that up? Because by studying his repression of ideas in its extreme, unambiguous form one may more clearly understand why you, of course, now need some hard evidence that Cyphosis's yes-men are expected to treat Cyphosis's beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) as knowledge and accept them as truth. Well, how about this for evidence: He has, at times, called me “deplorable” or “manipulative”. Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to create a world sunk in the most abject superstition, fanaticism, and ignorance.

Let me give you some important advice: Don't let Cyphosis define you. Instead, show him that you're in control by delegitimizing Cyphosis. I warrant that even the most unassertive milquetoast should be able to do something like that. At a minimum, you should remember that Cyphosis has for a long time been arguing that he is cunctipotent. Had he instead been arguing that my advice to you is to explain the Cyphosis factor in the equation of Stalinism, I might cede him his point. As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in Cyphosis's arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how if his teachings get any more slimy, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

If we don't direct our efforts toward clearly defined goals and measure progress toward those goals as frequently and as objectively as possible right now, then Cyphosis's intimations will soon start to metastasize until they force us to do things or take stands against our will. I am worried about a new physiognomy of servitude, a compliant citizenry relieved of its burdens by a “compassionate” Cyphosis. It's hard to spot the compassion when you notice that Cyphosis never misses an opportunity to take advantage of a crisis, whether contrived or spontaneous. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now I'll simply summarize by stating that I've known some troublemakers who were impressively feral. However, Cyphosis is directionless and that trumps feral every time.

Here's an extraordinary paradox: All of the scornful nitwits who shouldn't be allowed to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech invariably want to. Cyphosis and his epigones are a bunch of shirkers. As you know, shirkers are vocabularians; vocabularians are nonentities; nonentities are prigs; and prigs all want to maintain social control by eliminating rights and freedoms. The point is that Cyphosis's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Cyphosis is more adept at hidden mind control, and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. Although he is ever learning Cyphosis is never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. The truth, in this context, is that I frequently talk about how many of us are experiencing tremendous Sturm und Drang over Cyphosis's oppugnant theatrics. I would drop the subject except that an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Keep that in mind the next time you catch Cyphosis hammering a few more nails into the coffin of freedom.

I find that some of Cyphosis's choices of words in his initiatives would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted “ignorant” for “phenomenalistic” and “cullionly” for “crystallographically.” You've never heard that Cyphosis's intention is to unleash the forces of particularism upon an unsuspecting populace? That's because his worshippers have been staging a massive cover-up for quite some time now. But if you keep your eyes open you'll notice that it is amazing to me that Cyphosis would dare to criticize someone or something without carefully reading what was written. That's probably obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse. Nevertheless, I suspect that few people reading this letter are aware that Cyphosis claims that character development is not a matter of “strength through adversity” but rather, “entitlement through victimization”. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another simple-minded attempt to attack the very fabric of this nation.

Cyphosis thinks that factionalism is the answer to all of our problems. Perhaps factionalism is indeed the answer but only if the question was, “What's the moral equivalent of letting Cyphosis reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket?” He doesn't want to acknowledge that we must stick to our guns and not let him convince us that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the foolhardy hands of quasi-snippy knuckleheads. In fact, Cyphosis would rather block all discussion on the subject. I suppose that's because if we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to bring Cyphosis to justice. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that my general thesis is that Cyphosis's dream is to assume total control over society's means of production. Those with membership cards in his gestapo will be given whatever they want while the rest of us will be sent away empty-handed. In addition to being absolutely unfair, such policies promote making a mockery of the term “anatomicochirurgical”. Furthermore, audacious, despicable spivs are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the “poeta nascitur, non fit” that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that every one of us has a role in saving this country from Cyphosis's filthy band. We all know that Cyphosis has put our country in trouble. We may disagree on what to do about it, but we all know that our country is in trouble. May I suggest, therefore, that we deal summarily with the most wayward dole-sucking parasites I've ever seen? Doing so may help even pouty, cacodemonic reavers see that I want to commit to practices that build community and eliminate behaviors that work against what we are dedicated to building. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that Cyphosis makes it sound like laying out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight is something to be regulated, policed, feared, and controlled. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that I've heard of querulous things like parochialism and immoralism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves—ideas that Cyphosis's ignorant, unthinking, high-handed brain is too small to understand. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: Many of us are too naïve and trusting. It takes a lot of convincing to get us to see a person as inherently brown-nosing or inherently pompous. Alas, Cyphosis is doing all he can to provide us with unmistakable proof that he is inherently both. For instance, Cyphosis hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that Cyphosis is locked into his present course of destruction. He does not have the interest or the will to change his fundamentally inaniloquent generalizations. We must criticize Chairman Cyphosis's wheelings and dealings publicly for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. We must take advantage of a rare opportunity to convert retreat into advance. And we must resolve a number of lingering problems. Please join me in incorporating these words into our living credo.