diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/handcuffs.dm b/code/game/objects/items/handcuffs.dm
index 8db6b3556a0..259d38119ac 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/handcuffs.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/handcuffs.dm
@@ -46,11 +46,13 @@
 	throw_range = 5
 	custom_materials = list(/datum/material/iron= SMALL_MATERIAL_AMOUNT * 5)
 	breakouttime = 1 MINUTES
+	armor_type = /datum/armor/restraints_handcuffs
+	custom_price = PAYCHECK_COMMAND * 0.35
+
+	///How long it takes to handcuff someone
 	var/handcuff_time = 4 SECONDS
 	///Multiplier for handcuff time
 	var/handcuff_time_mod = 1
-	armor_type = /datum/armor/restraints_handcuffs
-	custom_price = PAYCHECK_COMMAND * 0.35
 	///Sound that plays when starting to put handcuffs on someone
 	var/cuffsound = 'sound/weapons/handcuffs.ogg'
 	///If set, handcuffs will be destroyed on application and leave behind whatever this is set to.
@@ -70,51 +72,68 @@
 	fire = 50
 	acid = 50
 
-/obj/item/restraints/handcuffs/attack(mob/living/carbon/C, mob/living/user)
-	if(!istype(C))
+/obj/item/restraints/handcuffs/attack(mob/living/target_mob, mob/living/user)
+	if(!iscarbon(target_mob))
 		return
 
-	if(SEND_SIGNAL(C, COMSIG_CARBON_CUFF_ATTEMPTED, user) & COMSIG_CARBON_CUFF_PREVENT)
+	attempt_to_cuff(target_mob, user) // avoid locking up the attack chain with sleeps
+
+/// Handles all of the checks and application in a typical situation where someone attacks a carbon victim with the handcuff item.
+/obj/item/restraints/handcuffs/proc/attempt_to_cuff(mob/living/carbon/victim, mob/living/user)
+	if(SEND_SIGNAL(victim, COMSIG_CARBON_CUFF_ATTEMPTED, user) & COMSIG_CARBON_CUFF_PREVENT)
+		victim.balloon_alert(user, "can't be handcuffed!")
 		return
 
 	if(iscarbon(user) && (HAS_TRAIT(user, TRAIT_CLUMSY) && prob(50))) //Clumsy people have a 50% chance to handcuff themselves instead of their target.
 		to_chat(user, span_warning("Uh... how do those things work?!"))
-		apply_cuffs(user,user)
+		apply_cuffs(user, user)
 		return
 
+	if(!isnull(victim.handcuffed))
+		victim.balloon_alert(user, "already handcuffed!")
+		return
+
+	if(victim.canBeHandcuffed())
+		victim.balloon_alert(user, "can't be handcuffed!")
+		to_chat(user, span_warning("[victim] doesn't have two hands..."))
+		return
+
+	victim.visible_message(
+		span_danger("[user] is trying to put [src] on [victim]!"),
+		span_userdanger("[user] is trying to put [src] on you!"),
+	)
+
+	if(victim.is_blind())
+		to_chat(victim, span_userdanger("As you feel someone grab your wrists, [src] start digging into your skin!"))
+
+	playsound(loc, cuffsound, 30, TRUE, -2)
+	log_combat(user, victim, "attempted to handcuff")
+
 	if(HAS_TRAIT(user, TRAIT_FAST_CUFFING))
 		handcuff_time_mod = 0.75
 	else
 		handcuff_time_mod = 1
 
-	if(!C.handcuffed)
-		if(C.canBeHandcuffed())
-			C.visible_message(span_danger("[user] is trying to put [src] on [C]!"), \
-								span_userdanger("[user] is trying to put [src] on you!"))
-			if(C.is_blind())
-				to_chat(C, span_userdanger("As you feel someone grab your wrists, [src] start digging into your skin!"))
-			playsound(loc, cuffsound, 30, TRUE, -2)
-			log_combat(user, C, "attempted to handcuff")
-			if(do_after(user, handcuff_time * handcuff_time_mod, C, timed_action_flags = IGNORE_SLOWDOWNS) && C.canBeHandcuffed())
-				if(iscyborg(user))
-					apply_cuffs(C, user, TRUE)
-				else
-					apply_cuffs(C, user)
-				C.visible_message(span_notice("[user] handcuffs [C]."), \
-									span_userdanger("[user] handcuffs you."))
-				SSblackbox.record_feedback("tally", "handcuffs", 1, type)
-
-				log_combat(user, C, "handcuffed")
-			else
-				to_chat(user, span_warning("You fail to handcuff [C]!"))
-				log_combat(user, C, "failed to handcuff")
-		else
-			to_chat(user, span_warning("[C] doesn't have two hands..."))
+	if(!do_after(user, handcuff_time * handcuff_time_mod, victim, timed_action_flags = IGNORE_SLOWDOWNS) || !victim.canBeHandcuffed())
+		victim.balloon_alert(user, "failed to handcuff!")
+		to_chat(user, span_warning("You fail to handcuff [victim]!"))
+		log_combat(user, victim, "failed to handcuff")
+		return
+
+	apply_cuffs(victim, user, dispense = iscyborg(user))
+
+	victim.visible_message(
+		span_notice("[user] handcuffs [victim]."),
+		span_userdanger("[user] handcuffs you."),
+	)
+
+	log_combat(user, victim, "successfully handcuffed")
+	SSblackbox.record_feedback("tally", "handcuffs", 1, type)
+
 
 /**
- * This handles handcuffing people
+ * When called, this instantly puts handcuffs on someone (if actually possible)
  *
- * When called, this instantly puts handcuffs on someone (if possible)
  * Arguments:
  * * mob/living/carbon/target - Who is being handcuffed
  * * mob/user - Who or what is doing the handcuffing
@@ -137,7 +156,6 @@
 
 	if(trashtype && !dispense)
 		qdel(src)
-	return
 
 /**
  * # Alien handcuffs