Dear Bob
Optimistically and corporately, two disabled people that they go ahead bravely and support each other after they throw away their crutches. This is a moving story. However, such a story reflects a not uncommon social issue, which is significant and realistic and should not be overlooked by every member of society.
In our daily life, we can easily find this phenomenon that more and more people attach importance to cooperation to achieve their own purposes. Actually, every person, and every team, even to the end every country has own advantages and disadvantages. In order that the development can be better achieved, we must collaborate with each other and achieve win-win. As shown in the picture, the sound leg of each disabled person is their advantage, and the crippled one is their disadvantage. Considering the issue of cooperation, I can think of no better exemplification than the relationship between the goverment and investors. The goverment need a lot of money to build highways and constrct the city, and obviously, investors need to depend on chance of investment to make money.
All analyses presented above convince people that we should strengthen cooperation consciousness and learn virtues of others to make up for our deficiencies.
| 改动句子 | 改动说明 |
|---|---|
| they | that引导定语从句的同时也是从句的主语，因此此处they多余 |
| support | 拼写错误 |
| uncommon | not uncommon表示很常见，双重否定表示肯定 |
| not | 不应该被忽视，意思表达反了 |
| more and more people | 越来越多的人... |
| to | to do sth表示目的，for后面应该接doing |
| person | person 与后面的team、country对应 |
| and | 此处and多余 |
| to the extend | 多余，不知所云 |
| that | that来引导后面的句子 |
| we | 此处缺少主语 |
| goverment | 拼写错误 |
| . The | 此处一句话结束，应该用句号，后面的The首字母大写 |
| to build | 此处用动词不定时表目的感觉更好些，另外repair是“修复”的意思，用build更贴切 |
| construct | 前面改成to do sth了，因此这儿响应地也要改 |
| and | 此处需要用连词and来连接前后两个句子 |
| chance | chance本身是名词，不需要加ing |
| and learn virtues | 此处用简单句即可 |