diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/datums/brain_damage/mild.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/datums/brain_damage/mild.dm
index a0d10cda3a9b..a57c380ca48e 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/datums/brain_damage/mild.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/datums/brain_damage/mild.dm
@@ -4,43 +4,91 @@
 	scan_desc = "kleptomania"
 	gain_text = "<span class='warning'>You feel a strong urge to grab things.</span>"
 	lose_text = "<span class='notice'>You no longer feel the urge to grab things.</span>"
+	// The percent chance for kleptomania to actually activate every tick
+	var/kleptomania_chance = 2.5
+	// The percent chance to pickpocket from someone, instead of from the ground.
+	var/pickpocket_chance = 25
 
-/datum/brain_trauma/mild/kleptomania/on_gain()
-	owner.apply_status_effect(/datum/status_effect/kleptomania)
-	..()
+/datum/brain_trauma/mild/kleptomania/on_life(seconds_per_tick, times_fired)
+	if(owner.incapacitated())
+		return
+	if(!SPT_PROB(kleptomania_chance, seconds_per_tick))
+		return
+	if(!owner.has_active_hand())
+		return
+	if(owner.get_active_held_item())
+		return
 
-/datum/brain_trauma/mild/kleptomania/on_lose()
-	owner.remove_status_effect(/datum/status_effect/kleptomania)
-	..()
+	if(prob(pickpocket_chance))
+		steal_from_someone()
+	else
+		steal_from_ground()
 
-/datum/status_effect/kleptomania
-	id = "kleptomania"
-	status_type = STATUS_EFFECT_UNIQUE
-	alert_type = null
-	var/kleptomania_chance = 2.5
+/datum/brain_trauma/mild/kleptomania/proc/steal_from_someone()
+	var/list/potential_victims = list()
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/potential_victim in view(1, owner))
+		if(potential_victim == owner)
+			continue
+		potential_victims += potential_victim
+
+	if(!length(potential_victims))
+		return
+
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/victim = pick(potential_victims)
+
+	var/list/items_in_pockets = victim.get_pockets()
+	if(!length(items_in_pockets))
+		return
+
+	var/obj/item/item_to_steal = pick(items_in_pockets)
+	owner.visible_message(
+		span_warning("[owner] attempts to remove [item_to_steal] from [victim]'s pocket!"),
+		span_warning("You attempt to remove [item_to_steal] from [victim]'s pocket."),
+		span_warning("You hear someone rummaging through pockets.")
+	)
+
+	if(!do_after(owner, item_to_steal.strip_delay, victim) || !victim.temporarilyRemoveItemFromInventory(item_to_steal))
+		owner.visible_message(
+			span_warning("[owner] fails to pickpocket [victim]."),
+			span_warning("You fail to pick [victim]'s pocket."),
+			null
+		)
+		return
+
+	owner.visible_message(
+		span_warning("[owner] removes [item_to_steal] from [victim]'s pocket!"),
+		span_warning("You remove [item_to_steal] from [victim]'s pocket."),
+		null
+	)
+
+	owner.log_message("picked [victim.name]'s pockets (kleptomania)", LOG_ATTACK, color = "orange")
+
+	if(QDELETED(item_to_steal))
+		return
+	if(!owner.putItemFromInventoryInHandIfPossible(item_to_steal, owner.active_hand_index, TRUE))
+		item_to_steal.forceMove(owner.drop_location())
+
+/datum/brain_trauma/mild/kleptomania/proc/steal_from_ground()
+	// Get a list of anything that's not nailed down or already worn by the brain trauma's owner.
+	var/list/stealables = list()
+	var/list/currently_worn_gear = owner.get_all_gear()
+	for(var/obj/item/potential_stealable in oview(1, owner))
+		if(potential_stealable.anchored)
+			continue
+		if(potential_stealable in currently_worn_gear)
+			continue
+		if(!potential_stealable.Adjacent(owner))
+			continue
+		stealables += potential_stealable
+
+	// Shuffle the list of stealables, then loop through it until we find an item to grab.
+	for(var/obj/item/stealable as anything in shuffle(stealables))
+		if(!owner.CanReach(stealable, view_only = TRUE))
+			continue
 
-/datum/status_effect/kleptomania/tick()
-	if(prob(kleptomania_chance) && owner.m_intent == MOVE_INTENT_RUN && !owner.get_active_held_item() && !(owner.incapacitated()) && owner.has_active_hand())
-		if(prob(25)) //we pick pockets
-			for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/victim in view(1, owner))
-				var/pockets = victim.get_pockets()
-				if(victim != owner && length(pockets))
-					var/obj/item/I = pick(pockets)
-					owner.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[owner] attempts to remove [I] from [victim]'s pocket!</span>","<span class='warning'>You attempt to remove [I] from [victim]'s pocket.</span>", FALSE, 1)
-					if(do_after(owner, I.strip_delay, victim) && victim.temporarilyRemoveItemFromInventory(I))
-						owner.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[owner] removes [I] from [victim]'s pocket!</span>","<span class='warning'>You remove [I] from [victim]'s pocket.</span>", FALSE, 1)
-						log_admin("[key_name(usr)] picked [victim.name]'s pockets with Kleptomania trait.")
-						if(!QDELETED(I) && !owner.putItemFromInventoryInHandIfPossible(I, owner.active_hand_index, TRUE, TRUE))
-							I.forceMove(owner.drop_location())
-						break
-					else
-						owner.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[owner] fails to pickpocket [victim].</span>","<span class='warning'>You fail to pick [victim]'s pocket.</span>", FALSE, 1)
-		else //we pick stuff off the ground
-			var/mob/living/carbon/C = owner
-			for(var/obj/item/I in oview(1, C))
-				if(!I.anchored && !(I in C.get_all_gear()) && I.Adjacent(C)) //anything that's not nailed down or worn
-					I.attack_hand(C)
-					break
+		owner.log_message("attempted to pick up (kleptomania)", LOG_ATTACK, color = "orange")
+		stealable.attack_hand(owner)
+		break
 
 /mob/living/carbon/human/proc/get_pockets()
 	var/list/pockets = list()