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daal-in-love-with-this-recipe.md

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Ingredients

  • Orange lentils
  • Love
  • A second generation immigrant upbringing with repressed memories of shame, inadequacy, and loving but overbearing parents
  • Turmeric
  • Red Chili Flakes
  • Red Chili Powder
  • Cumin
  • Garam Masala
  • (Himalayan Pink) Salt
  • Black Pepper
  • Fennel
  • Mustard seeds
  • Onions
  • Garlic
  • Ginger
  • Green Chili
  • Tomatoes
  • Zambonis (zucchini), if you wish
  • Yogurt
  • Cucumber

Instructions

  1. Thinly slice a whole buncha onions and caramelize them slowly on low temperature. Slice a whole green chili length-wise and throw it in with the slowly caramelizing onions (henceforth known as SCOs). Sprinkle some salt and fennel and let that mixture do its thang. You'll have to keep an eye on the SCOs and give them a stir now and then to keep them from burning. Once they're done, take them off the heat.

  2. Soak the daal while you chop up the veggies so it cooks faster. Make about .75 cup of daal per person.

  3. Chop up the zambonis if you wish to have zambonis in your daal. I highly recommend the inclusion of zambonis, but if you don't wish to have zambonis that's fine too, you're probably just a huge square with a boring outlook on life. Fry up the zambonis with salt and pepper.

  4. Chop up the onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, green chili.

  5. Get yo' pot ready by heating up some oil. Once oil is sizzley-dizzley, throw in the onions, chili, garlic, and ginger and let them mingle. Add in all the spices except for the turmeric and let everyone get to know each other real well. Introduce the chopped tomatoes. Watch the magic begin to unfold.

  6. Chat with your friends a bit. Watch a youtube video. Scroll through instagram. Just have a laugh and reconnect with the present moment and absurd, transience of life.

  7. Okay time to get serious.

  8. Remember that daal you soaked? Bathtime is over. Strain the daal and add the lentils to the magic pot.

  9. Add water. If you're in Gaza where the water is non-potable because of the illegal, inhumane decade-long blockade imposed by colonial forces, then please use bottled water. Safety first. Add as much water as you'd like the daal to be soupy. For unsoaked daal, you do about 2 cups water per cup of daal. But since this daal had a bath before, the ratio is more like 1:1. Start with less than you need and add more as the daal cooked to get the consistency you'd like.

  10. Add in 2.5 generous tablespoons of turmeric. Don't be shy. This is where daal gets its signature and inviting color. Add a fat pinch of red chili flakes. Add some more salt. Smile.

  11. Let the daal do it's thang and finely chop up some cucumbers. Scoop some yogurt into a receptacle (perhaps a small tagine), and give it a whisk with a fork like you're beating some eggs. Mix in the finely chopped cucumbers. This is your raita. It will be eaten on the side of daal to cool down the spiciness.

  12. Have a stretch. Text your mom back. Then check on the daal. If the daal is fully cooked, the consistency is to your liking, and the flavor is satisfactory, then guess what? Ya done, son.

  13. But wait! There's more. Mix in the fried zambonis. And then, when it's all in there, boom!, sprinkle the SCOs on top.

  14. Gather your friends and dinnermates. Serve up the daal and raita. Be responsible, get crazy, but above all, have fun.

Side note: this pairs well with achaar which is a funky pickle mix.