New Chuck Jokes

libchucknorris/data/quotes

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+Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
+In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
+Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
+If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
+Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
+Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
+Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
+Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.
+Chuck Norris has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of World Records.
+Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
+Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
+When the first atom smasher was created, scientists used Chuck Norris as their working prototype. 
+Einstein was wrong about the speed of light. Nothing can break it...except Chuck Norris.
+There used to be a planet between Mars and Jupiter. Chuck Norris didn't like the looks of it, so he roundhouse kicked it, creating the asteroid belt. 
+NASA has never launched a single rocket. They asked Chuck Norris if he wouldn't mind kicking some tall towers into space.
+Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.
+When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
+Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
+Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
+Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
+Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
 One time Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 15 men.  Then the grenade exploded.
 Chuck Norris attended a feminist group meeting and came home with his shirt ironed and a sandwich
 When Chuck Norris turned 18 , his parents moved out