ChatService.cs

using Microsoft.Extensions.Options;
using RestSharp;
using System.Text.Json;

namespace WhatsappChatbot
{
  
    public class Joke
    {
        public string Body { get; set; } = null!;

        public string Category { get; set; } = null!;

        public int Id { get; set; }
        
        public double Rating { get; set; }
    }
    public class ChatService
    {
        private readonly AppSettings _appSettings;
        private readonly string[] _randomSentences = new string[] { "Money",
"Time","Coffee","A Better Job","A Life","Better Programming Skills","Internet that was mine","More Beer","More Donuts","Candy","My Daughter",
"Cable","A Dining Room Table","Better Couches","A PS4","A New Laptop","A New Phone","Water","Rum","Movies","A Desktop Computer",
"A Fish Tank","My Socks","My Jacket","More Coffee","More Koolaid","More Power","A Truck","Toolbox","More fish for Fish Tank","A Screwdriver",
"A Projector","More Pants"
        };
        private readonly Random _random = new Random();
        private readonly string _randomJokes = "[\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand\\nwere arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the\\ndealer.\\n\\nThe player said, \\\"When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault.\\nAccordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing\\nto do with it so, why should I tip him?\\\"\\n\\nThe dealer said, \\\"When you eat out do you tip the waiter?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Yes.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Well then, he serves you food, I'm serving you cards, so you should\\ntip me.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for. I'll take an eight.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Children\",\r\n        \"id\": 1,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.63\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman,' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret.' 'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.' 'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted. 'I hardly think so!' responded the blonde lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 2,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.57\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.''You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 3,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.09\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, \\\"Ready . . . Aim . . .\\\"Suddenly the brunette yells, \\\"earthquake!!\\\" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, \\\"Ready . . . Aim . . .\\\"The redhead then screams, \\\"tornado!!\\\" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . .\\\"The blonde shouts, \\\"fire!!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 4,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.1\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. \\\"Mommy, Mommy,\\\" she yelled, \\\"we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!\\\" \\\"Very good,\\\" said her mother. \\\"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?\\\" \\\"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde.\\\" The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. \\\"Mommy, Mommy,\\\" She yelled, \\\"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!\\\" \\\"Very good,\\\" said her mother. \\\"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?\\\" \\\"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde.\\\" The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. \\\"Mommy, Mommy,\\\" she yelled, \\\"we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!\\\" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. \\\"Very good,\\\" said her embarrassed mother. \\\"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?\\\" \\\"No, Honey, it's because you're 25.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 5,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.3\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, \\\"I can't get out of the room!\\\" \\\"You can't get out of your room?\\\" the captain asked. \\\"Why not?\\\" She replied, \\\"There are only three doors in here,\\\" she sobbed, \\\"one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Military\",\r\n        \"id\": 6,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.23\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. \\nThe brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, \\\"Now, do you remember what the plan is?\\\" The blonde sighed and replied, \\\"Yeah, yeah, I remember...\\\" The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. \\n\\nBefore the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, \\\"Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!\\\" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, \\\"Stop! Stop!\\\" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, \\\"What the hell happened in there?!?\\\" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, \\\"What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!\\\" \\nThe brunette paused and yelled, \\\"YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 7,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says, \\\"Hey give me an ML.\\\" The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite. Following her, the redhead walks up to the bartender and says, \\\"I'd like a BL.\\\" Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a Bud Lite. Last, the blonde walks up to the bartender and says, \\\"Give me a Fifteen.\\\" \\\"A Fifteen?\\\" the bartender replies, \\\"What the hell is that?\\\" \\\"Oh, you know,\\\" the blonde says, \\\"A Seven and Seven.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 8,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she's angry! She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief.  She takes the gun and points to her head. The boyfriend yells, \\\"No, honey, don't do it!!\\\" \\\"Shut up,\\\" she says, \\\"You're next.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 9,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.77\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and says, \\\"HI, is there anything I could do for your house or you???\\\" The man thinks and says, \\\"Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage.\\\" The girl says, \\\"O.K., How much will you pay me?\\\" The man says, \\\"How much does fifty bucks sound?\\\" The blonde quickly agrees and get straight to work. The wife who had heard the conversation inside says, \\\"50 bucks, I hope she knows the porch goes all around the house!\\\" 25 minutes later the girl knocks on the door and says, \\\"O.K. I am done. Can I have my money now?\\\" Surprised the man replies, \\\"O.K. Let me get the money\\\" He comes back and the girl says as she is leaving, \\\"By the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 10,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.64\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, \\\"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.\\\"\\\"Oh Dear!\\\" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. \\\"But, what happened to yourother ear?\\\"\\\"The jerk called back!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 11,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.\\\"No,\\\" the talented blonde artist said. \\\"I don\\\"t do that sort of thing.\\\"\\\"But what if I double your fee?\\\" he pleaded.\\\"Nope, sorry. Won't do it.\\\"\\\"How about I give you five times what you normally get?\\\"\\\"Oh, okay then,\\\" said the artist, \\\"but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 12,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven. God says, \\\"There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell.\\\" So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell. Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell. On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate. Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, \\\"what are you laughing about?\\\", so she replies, \\\"I just got the first joke!\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 13,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.96\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, \\\"Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?\\\" \\\"Why, officer?\\\" asks the blonde. \\\"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.\\\" \\\"Oh my goodness,\\\" exclaims the blonde, \\\"I must have left my baby on the bus!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 14,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, \\\"I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 15,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor's office. \\\"Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep.\\\"\\\"I have good news for you,\\\" the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. \\\"Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.\\\"\\\"Great,\\\" the blond answered, \\\"I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot.\\\"A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. \\\"Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!\\\"\\\"I don't understand how that could be\\\", said the doctor, shaking his head. \\\"Those are the strongest pills on the market!\\\"\\\"That may be true,\\\" answered the blond wearily, \\\"but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 16,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.21\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the 3 of them and said, \\\"So ya'll want to be a cop, eh?\\\"The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and withdrew a picture, and said, \\\"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc.\\\"So he stuck the photo in the face of the 1st blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. \\\"Now, he said, \\\"did you notice any distinguishing features about the man?\\\"The blonde immediately said, \\\"Yes, I did. He has only one eye!\\\"The detective shook his head and said, \\\"Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!\\\"The 1st blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the 2nd blonde, stuck the photo in her face for 2 seconds, pulled it back and said, \\\"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?\\\"\\\"Yes! He only has one ear!\\\"The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, \\\"Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused, too!\\\"The 2nd blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the 3rd and last blonde and said, \\\"This is probably a waste of time, but.......\\\" He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying \\\"All right. Did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?\\\"The blonde said, \\\"I did. This man wears contact lenses.\\\"The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, \\\"You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts... How in the world could you tell that by looking at this picture?\\\"The blonde rolled her eyes and said, \\\"Well duh! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 17,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.65\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers.\\n\\nRedhead sighed and said, \\\"Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.\\\"\\n\\nThe blonde looked quizzically at her and said, \\\"You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?\\\"\\n\\nThe redhead said, \\\"I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.\\\"\\n\\nThe blonde says, \\\"Don't you have a vase?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 18,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.53\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains\\\" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa.\\\" Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, \\\"Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer that you'll ask me, I will pay you $500!.\\\" Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. \\\"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?\\\" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: \\\"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?\\\" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, \\\"Well, so what IS the answer!?\\\" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 19,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.22\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all bruneettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. \\nThe brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level. \\nThe brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate. \\nWhen the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in frount of them with white knuckles. \\n\\\"Whats goimg on up here?\\\" asks the brunette. \\\"We're having a great time downstairs!\\\" \\n\\\"Yeah,\\\" screams a terrified blonde, \\\"but you've got a driver!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 20,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.39\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. \\\"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.\\\" When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. \\\"Why, that's amazing!\\\" the doctor said, \\\"Did you follow my instructions?\\\" The blonde nodded, \\\"I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.\\\" \\\"From hunger, you mean?\\\", asked the doctor.\\\" \\\"No, from all that skipping.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 21,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.1\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde's car and asked, \\\"Are you going to Sydney?\\\"\\\"Sure,\\\" answered the blonde, \\\"do you need a lift?\\\"\\\"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to Taronga Park Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble.\\\"\\\"I'd be happy to,\\\" said the blonde.So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Sydney when suddenly he was horrified. There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.\\\"What the hell are you doing here?\\\" he demanded, \\\"I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.\\\"\\\"Yes, I know you did,\\\" said the blonde, \\\"but just as we arrived it looked like it was going to rain so we decided to see a movie instead.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 22,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.56\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early.\\n\\nOne day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?\\n\\nThe next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.\\n\\nThe redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.\\n\\nThe blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to the bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS.\\n\\nEver so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.\\n\\n\\\"NO WAY,\\\" she exclaimed, \\\"I almost got caught yesterday\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Office Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 23,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.73\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying \\\"If you catch me, I'm yours.\\\" He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg. He's back on the street and starts to think. \\\"Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time...\\\" So he races back to the gym and says, \\\"I want to lose 20 more kg.\\\" \\\"No problem,\\\" says the manager. Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign \\\"If I catch you, you're mine.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 24,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, \\\"I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But with the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them back in.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 25,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.86\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, \\\"I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe.\\\" The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies \\\"But I don't have any money.... and I must get a message to her, it's urgent!... I'll do anything to get a message to her.\\\" The clerk replies \\\"Anything?\\\". \\\"Yes.... ANYTHING!\\\" replies the blonde. He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. \\\"Unzip me...\\\" She does. \\\"Take it out..... go ahead.\\\" She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says \\\"Well... go ahead... do it...\\\" She brings her lips close to it and shouts \\\"Hello?... Mom?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 26,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were walking along the beach. A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde. The brunette says in a disgusted voice, \\\"Hang on the bathroom is just up the hill, I'll go get some toilet paper.\\\"After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh.The redhead says, \\\"What's so funny?\\\"The blonde says, \\\"Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb and look at her. By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull will be miles away!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 27,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.05\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There's a blonde, a red head and a brunette all on death row. They are all out in the desert about to be executed. First up is the brunette. The shooter counts; 1, 2, 3..., and the brunette yells out,\\\"Tornado!\\\" Everybody turns around to see the tornado and the brunette runs away.Next up is the red head. The shooter counts; 1, 2,3..., and the red head yells out,\\\" Flood!\\\" Everybody turns around to see the flood and the red head runs away. Next up is the blonde. The shooter counts; 1,2,3...,and the blonde yells,\\\"Fire!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 28,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.72\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bagbehind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.Signed - \\\"The Blonde\\\"She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 ina brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Alsoinside the bag was the following note: \\\"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would dothis to another.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 29,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.61\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This guy goes to sit at his plane seat in first class, and finds a blonde there. He says, excuse me miss, but this is my seat. She replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body and I'm going to Florida. So the guy calls the stewardess over to help him. He explains the situation to the stewardess, and the stewardess says, miss, your seat is in coach, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave first class. The blonde response, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a  great body, and I'm going to Florida. The stewardess then goes to get the captain to help her, and the captain asks the blonde to please leave first class, and go back to coach.  The blonde response, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I have a great body, and I'm going to Florida. The captain thinks about this for a minute, then whispers something in  the blondes ear. As soon as he does, she gets up and goes back to  coach.. The stewardess is amazed. What did you say?  The captain replies, I told her first class doesn't go to Florida.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Military\",\r\n        \"id\": 30,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.54\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, \\\"Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!\\\" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. \\\"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead. \\\"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!\\\" says the Redhead. \\\"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!\\\" \\\"OK\\\" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell \\\"Jump! You have to jump!\\\" \\\"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!\\\" yelled the Blonde. \\\"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!\\\" \\\"Look,\\\" the Blonde says. \\\"Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it....\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 31,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant.  \\\"Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant\\\" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.\\\"But I always buy it here\\\", the blonde says. \\\"I bought one last month\\\". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, \\\" I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time\\\". \\\"Sure\\\", the blonde replies. \\\"I'll bring it with me tomorrow\\\"The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. \\\"This is just a normal deodorant\\\", the pharmacist tells the blonde, \\\"You use it under your arms\\\".\\\"No, it is not\\\", the blonde answers, \\\"it says so here: To apply, push up bottom\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 32,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde received a certificate for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity. When she arrived at the place, the man said \\\"Well, there's only one helicopter here, and it only has one seat, if I show you how to do it, do you mind going up solo?\\\" \\\"Oh of course! I can handle it\\\" the blonde replied. Well, he showed her the inner-workings of the helicopter and sent her on her way, only asking that she radio in every 400ft. just to make sure everything was going smoothly. at 400ft, she radioed in saying \\\"wow! this is so much fun!\\\" At 800 ft. She radioed in again saying \\\"this is pretty easy, I can do this all day!\\\" At 1200 ft. She didnt. he waited and waited, and didn't hear from the blonde! seconds later he heard a crash in the field next to the station. He ran out to see what happened, the blonde crashed! Luckily she survived, \\\"what happened?\\\" he exclaimed. \\\"Well, I was doing fine, but, I started to get cold, so I just turned off the big fan!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 33,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.73\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, \\\"shut up...you're next!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 34,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.\\nGod says, \\\"There are 3,000 steps and i'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell.\\\" So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.\\n\\nThen on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.\\n\\nOn the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate. \\n\\nSuddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, \\\"what are you laughing about?\\\", so she replies, \\\"i just got the first joke!\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 35,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.22\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the \\\"no haggle\\\" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, \\\"Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!\\\"The shopkeeper said, \\\"By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!\\\" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, \\\"Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 36,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There are three people: a blonde named Stacy, a red-head named Mary, and a guy named Jack.One day Mary says \\\"I think we should rob a bank.\\\" And everyone agrees.So the next week after much planning they all set it up. \\\"Now remember me and Mary are going to circle around for two minures, got it?\\\" Says Jack, \\\"Okay.\\\" Says Stacy.They drive away and two minutes pass and they come back. Stacy hasn't come out. 3 minutes pass, 4 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, and after 11 minutes Stacy comes runing out with a safe that has been tied up and a guard with his pants down chasing after her. Stacy jumps in the car and they drive off. Imidietly Mary says, \\\"I told you to blow the safe and tie up the guard!!!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 37,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.57\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Q & A\\n\\n\\nQ: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?\\nA: So brunettes can remember them. \\n\\nQ: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?\\nA: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back. \\n\\nQ: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? \\nA: She slipped off and fell down the drain. \\n\\nQ: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? \\nA: The joystick is wet. \\n\\nQ: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?\\nA: Pick them up off the floor. \\n\\nQ: Why don't blonds play frisbee? \\nA: It hurts their teeth. \\n\\nQ: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? \\nA: Gifted! \\n\\nQ: How do blonde braincells die ? \\nA: Alone. \\n\\nQ: Why don't blondes eat bananas? \\nA: They can't find the zipper. \\n\\nQ: How did the blonde try to kill the fish? \\nA: She tried to drown it. \\n\\nQ: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?\\nA: Not everyone has been in a 747.\\n\\nQ. why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?\\nA. because she heard the drinks were on the house.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 38,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.9\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three girls are walking in a magical forest. Suddenly, a witch comes out of the woods, and tells them: \\\"Each of you has to say one good thing about herself. If you lie, i will make you disappear!\\\".The first girl, a brunette, says:\\\"I think I am a very kind and toughtfull person\\\".*Pooph*- she disappears. The second girl, red-haired, says:\\\"I think i am very sexy\\\".*Pooph*- she also disappears.The third girl, a blonde, says:\\\"Well, I think...\\\"*Pooph*- she is gone...\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 39,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, \\\"Please come over here and help me, I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.\\\" Her boyfriend asks, \\\"What is it supposed to be when it's finished?? The girl says, \\\"According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.\\\"Her boyfriend decides to go over and help her with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzles spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box. He turns to her and says, \\\"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then put all these Frosties back in the box.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 40,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This blonde had a near death experience the other day. She climbed on top of a horse, and all of a sudden it started moving. She was a little frightened, this was her first time, but she kept on the horse. Then the horse started going fast and got out of control, and the blonde couldn't stay on, she fell of, but her foot got stuck, and she was dragging on the ground. She started screaming, and was in great pain. Then the wal-mart manager came outside and unplugged the horse.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 41,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.88\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three blondes walk into a forest and soon find a pair of tracks.The first blonde says: \\\"I think they're deer tracks.\\\"The second blonde says: \\\"No, I think they're bear tracks.\\\"The third blonde says: \\\"You're both wrong! They're bird tracks!\\\"Then they get hit by a train.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 42,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.06\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man walks in to an auto store and askes the blonde cashier where the turtle wax is. the blonde says,\\\"i'm sorry sir, but we don't sell pet supplies.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 43,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day a blonde is hiking in the woods.  She follows the trail until she comes upon a river.  As she is thinking how she can get across the river; another blonde appears on the opposite side.The blonde yells to the other blonde \\\"How do I get to the other side?\\\"The other blonde looks up and then down the river and yells back:\\\"You are on the other side!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 44,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.18\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag. \\n1st blonde: \\\"What have you got in that bag?\\\" \\n\\n2nd blonde: \\\"Chickens.\\\" \\n\\n1st blonde: \\\"If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?\\\" \\n\\n2nd blonde: \\\"If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!\\\" \\n\\n1st blonde: \\\"Well, I think you've got three.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 45,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A girl came skipping home from school one day. \\\"Mommy, Mommy,\\\" she yelled, \\\"we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,6, 7, 8, 9, 10!\\\" \\\"Very good,\\\" said her mother.  \\\"Is it because I'm blonde?\\\" the girl said.  \\\"Yes, it's because you're blonde,\\\" said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. \\\"Mommy, Mommy,\\\" she yelled, \\\"we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!\\\" \\\"Very good,\\\" said her mother.  \\\"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?\\\"  \\\"Yes, it's because you're blonde.\\\" The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,\\\"she yelled, \\\"we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all theother girls had flat chests, but I have these!\\\" And she lifted her tanktop to reveal a pair of 36Cs.  \\\"Very good,\\\" said her embarrassed mother. \\\"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?\\\" \\\"No Honey, it's because you're 24.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 46,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.22\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, \\\"Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?\\\" \\\"Why, officer?\\\" asks the blonde. \\\"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.\\\" \\\"Oh my goodness,\\\" exclaims the blonde, \\\"I left my baby on the bus!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 47,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One cold Winter day, a blonde decides she wants to take up ice fishing. When she gets to the pond, she begins to cut a hole in the ice. As she does, she hears a voice. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\".     Puzzled, the blonde picks up her stuff and cuts another hole a few feet away. Again, she hears the voice. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\"    The blonde is confused, but still determined. About 10 feet away, she begins to cut another ice hole. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\", she hears.     She immediately turns her head to the sky and says, \\\"Is that you, God?\\\"\\\"NO! IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE-SKATING RINK! THERE'S NO FISH THERE!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 48,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.09\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,\\n\\\"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... \\nbecause you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor.\\\" \\nFlustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, \\\"You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 49,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.09\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One cold Winter day, a blonde decides she wants to take up ice fishing. When she gets to the pond, she begins to cut a hole in the ice. As she does, she hears a voice. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\". \\n    Puzzled, the blonde picks up her stuff and cuts another hole a few feet away. Again, she hears the voice. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\"\\n    The blonde is confused, but still determined. About 10 feet away, she begins to cut another ice hole. \\\"There's no fish there...\\\", she hears. \\n    She immediately turns her head to the sky and says, \\\"Is that you, God?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"NO! IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE-SKATING RINK! THERE'S NO FISH THERE!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 50,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: \\\"Do you know where you were going?\\\" Blonde: \\\"No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 51,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.63\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. \\\"Honey, are you okay?\\\" he asks her. \\\"Yes\\\" she replies. \\\"Then what are you doing?\\\" he asks. \\\"I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb and I wanted to do it by painting the house.\\\" she replies. \\\"Then why are you wearing a ski jacket over a fur coat?\\\" he asks. \\\"Well,\\\" she replies \\\"I was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 52,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.43\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.\\\"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?\\\"\\\"What's a license???\\\" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.\\\"It's usually in your wallet,\\\" replied the officer. After fumblingfor a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. \\\"Now may I see your registration?\\\" asked the cop.\\\"Registration..... what's that....?\\\" asked the blonde.\\\"It's usually in your glove compartment.\\\" said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.\\\"I'll be back in a minute.\\\" said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, \\\"Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?\\\"\\\"Yes.\\\" replied the officer\\\"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?\\\" asked the dispatcher\\\"Uh... yes.\\\" replied the cop.\\\"Here's what you do.\\\" said the dispatcher. \\\"Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.\\\"\\\"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate.\\\" exclaimed the cop.\\\"Trust me. Just do it.\\\" said the dispatcher.So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.The blonde looks down and sighs..... \\\"Ohh no... not another breathalyser.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 53,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.22\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has neverbeen on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement,running over seat to seat and starts shouting, \\\"BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO.....\\\"  Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts \\\"BE SILENT!\\\"  There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at theblonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for amoment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,\\\"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE....\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Aviation\",\r\n        \"id\": 54,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head escaping from jail. The brunette ran up a tree and a police officer yells \\\"who is there?\\\" and the brunette says \\\"tweet tweet\\\". So the police officer walks away. Then, the redhead runs up the tree and the police officer says \\\"who is there?\\\" and the red head says \\\"meow\\\" so the police officer walks away.So the blonde runs up the tree and the police officer says \\\"who is there?\\\" the blonde says \\\"moooo\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 55,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Once a Blonde and a brunette were watching the news when they saw a man at the top of a building threatening to jump off. The Brunette said \\\"I bet you fifty bucks he's going to jump off, what do you say?\\\" The Blonde said \\\"sure,\\\" They watched carefully for 10 minutes when the man jumps off. The Blonde hands over the 50 bucks and says \\\"good job,\\\" The brunette looks guilty and says \\\"I'm sorry, here's your fifty bucks back, I saw the earlier showing and I knew the man was going to jump off,\\\" then blonde says \\\"don't worry, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd do it again,\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 56,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.11\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Santa Vlause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde were all walking down the street when they all spotted a 100$ dollar bill. Who do you think got it? No one because the first four dont exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 57,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.11\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A cop was driving down a country road when he saw a car in the ditch. He got out of his car to see if anyone was in the car. A blonde popped her head out the window and said \\\"Thank god officer! I got in an accident!\\\" The officer replied with \\\"Well I can see that! Are you okay?\\\" The blonde looked forward and said \\\"Well yeah... I think so.\\\" Then the officer looked around and said \\\"Miss.... your car looks like an elephant stepped on it. How did you crash?\\\" The blonde looked at him and said \\\"It was so strange. I was driving down the road and out of nowhere a tree jumped infront of me, so I swerved to the other side and another tree was in the way, so I swerved again, but another one was there again, so one last time I swerved to the other side, but the damn tree got me, and caused me to go in this ditch!\\\" The officer started to laugh hard. \\\"Whats so funny?\\\" The blonde asked. The officer took a second to catch his breath then said \\\"Miss, theres no trees on this road for miles ahead. That was your car air freshner swinging back and forth!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 58,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, \\\"Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!\\\"He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, \\\"Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!\\\" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. \\\"What's so funny?\\\" the truck driver asked the blonde. She replied, \\\"Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 59,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.91\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Q:What is a blondes idea of safe sex??A:Lock the car doors\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 60,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.63\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked herwhat had happened to her ears and she answered,  \\\"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.\\\" \\\"Oh Dear!\\\" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. \\\"But, what happened toyour other ear?\\\" \\\"The jerk called back!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 61,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.88\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Once, a blonde decided to ride a horse. She was riding quite pleasantly on a trail in a field until the horse speeded up. He was going faster and faster, and soon she felt herself slipping. Her head was just about to hit the ground... Then the Wal Mart manager ran to turn off the horsey ride.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 62,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.29\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, \\\"I`ve kidnapped you.\\\" She then wrote a note saying, \\\"I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.\\\"  The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.  The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.  The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, \\\"How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 63,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.09\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde walks into an appliance store and starts to look around.\\n\\nShe then asks the clerk,\\\"Can I have that television set over there.\\\"\\nThe clerk looks at her and says no.\\nThis confuses her. She then asks why?\\n\\nThe Clerk responds,\\\"Because you are a blonde.\\\"\\n\\nThe blonde woman walks out with an idea on how to get that television.\\n\\nShe then returns with a wig full of red hair. She asks the clerk again for the television set. \\n\\nHe looks at her suspiciously and replies,\\\"No because I told you I don't sell them to blondes.\\\"\\nShe then says,\\\"I am not a blonde I am a redhead.\\\"\\nThe clerk then said,\\\"I know your the same women because that is no television thats a microwave.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 64,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. \\nAfter becoming very frustrated with the \\\"no haggle\\\" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, \\\"Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!\\\" \\nThe shopkeeper said, \\\"By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!\\\" \\nDetermined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. \\nLater in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. \\nLying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouted out, \\\"Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 65,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are walking along their island beach when one sees a bottle lying on the ground.It turns out there's a genie in it so they each get one wish.The brunette says: \\\"I miss my family, I wish i was home again.\\\"With a puff of smoke she disappeared. The redhead wished for the same thing.There the blonde stood, all alone on the beach. She started to cry and said \\\"I wish my friends would come back\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 66,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three blondes were all vying for the last available position on the local police force. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, \\\"So you all want to be a cop, eh?\\\"The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a file folder. Sitting back down, he opened it up and withdrew a photograph, and said, \\\"To be a detect, you have to be able to DETECT. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars, etc.\\\" So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about 2 seconds. \\\"Now, he said, \\\"Did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?\\\"The blonde immediately said, \\\"Yes, I did. He only has one eye!\\\"The detective shook his head and said, \\\"Of COURSE he only has one eye in this picture! It's a PROFILE of his face! You're dismissed!\\\"The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, \\\"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?\\\"The blonde immediately shot back, \\\"Yep! He only has one ear!\\\"The detective put his head in his hand and exclaimed, \\\"Didn't you hear what I just said to the other lady? This is a PROFILE of the man's face! Of COURSE you can only see one ear!! You're excused, too! You'd never make a good detective!\\\"The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.The detective turn his attention to the last blonde and said, \\\"This is probably a waste of time, but....\\\". He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, \\\"Alright. Did YOU notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?\\\"The blonde said, \\\"Yes, I did. This man wears contact lenses.\\\"The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, \\\"You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could tell that by looking at this picture?\\\"The blonde rolled her eyes and said, \\\"DUH! He has only one eye and one ear, he certainly CAN'T WEAR GLASSES!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 67,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"I know a blond so stupid I asked her to take me to the airport she looked up at the billboard it said \\\"Airport Left\\\" she turned around and went home\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 68,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.57\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Q:how can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? A:her tampon is on her ear and she cant find her pen!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 69,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day two blondes each bought a pig.  The problem they were having was telling the two pigs apart.  So, the first blonde had an idea: She said, \\\"I'll cut my pig's tail off, then we will know the difference.\\\" So she cut her pig's tail off.  That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's tail off.  The next morning the blonde had a solution, she said,\\\"I'll just cut my pig's right back leg off.\\\" So, she did.  That night same thing; the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's right back leg off.  The next morning the blondes were real upset and finally decided to cut the back left leg from the pig, so she did.  That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's back left leg off.  The next morning the blondes were really upset and didn't know how they were going to tell their pigs apart.  So, one of them stated, \\\"I will cut my pig's right front leg off. Then we can tell our pigs apart.\\\" So, she did.  That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's right front leg off.  The blondes were really upset and decided the only logical explanation would be to cut the remaining leg off one pig. So, they did.  That night the pigs got in a fight and one pig bit the other pig's only leg off.  The next morning when the blondes awoke they were devastated.  Finally, the other blonde spoke up and said,  \\\"How about you take the white one and I'll take the black one.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 70,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.55\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. ''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 71,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.89\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles. At the endof the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had put in the ground. \\\"Fifteen\\\" was the answer. \\\"Not bad, not bad at all,\\\" the foreman said. Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in. \\\"Four\\\" was the answer. \\\"Four?\\\" the foreman yelled. \\\"The others did fifteen, and you only did four?\\\" \\\"Yes,\\\" replied the leader of the blonde group, \\\"But go look at how much they left sticking out of the ground.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 72,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.13\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Eleven women were clinging precariously to a wildlyswinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.  Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.  For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she wouldsacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.All the blondes applauded.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 73,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.9\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A brunette woman goes into the dr.'s office. She tells the Dr. : \\\"It hurts all over my body.\\\" He says: \\\"point to where it hurts\\\". She points to her shoulder and yells \\\"OUCH!\\\". She then points to her hip and yells \\\"OUCH!\\\". Finally she points to her knee and screams in pain \\\"OUCH!!!\\\". The Dr. asks  her \\\"Are you a true blonde and dyed your hair brown?\\\" She says: \\\"yes, how did you know\\\"? He answers: \\\"YOU HAVE A BROKEN FINGER!!!\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 74,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do.\\n\\nThe blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.\\n\\nThe pro said \\\"Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard. Grip the club gently as you would your husband's privates.\\\".\\n\\nThe blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway.\\n\\nThe pro said \\\"That was excellent!! Let's try it again, only this time take the club out of your mouth.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 75,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There were two blondes going hunting. It was getting late so one of theblondes said to the other that she heard if you ever get lost in the woods to shoot three shots into the air. So she did. A few hours wentby and so she fired three more shots in the air. A few more hours wentby and they fired three more shots in the air. Then one of the blondessaid someone better hurry up and save us...we only have two more arrowsleft.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 76,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"she was so blonde she told me to meet her at the corner of \\\"WALK\\\" and \\\"DON'T WALK.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 77,\r\n        \"rating\": 1.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Blonde Cook Book: MONDAY:It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake.The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighborswere nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY:Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe saidserve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What asurprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY:A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughlybefore steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly butI took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY:Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed oflettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led upto Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY:I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put allingredients in bowl and beat it. There must havebeen something wrong with this recipe. When I got back,everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY:Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For somereason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY:Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast.All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flashof genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set thecontrols for roast. It still came out hamburger, muchto my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.This has been a very exciting week. I am eager fortomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob.If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like tosurprise him with Chocolate Moose.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 78,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.57\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"1. The water proof towel2. Solar powered flash light3. Sumberrine screen door4. A book on how to read5. Inflatable dart board6. A dictionary index7. Ejector seat in a helicopter8. Powdered water9. Pedel powered wheel chair10. Water proof tea bags\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 79,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Blonde was driving down the highway and she cuts off a Truck. The Driver motions for the Blonde to pull over. The blonde pulls over and the truck driver draws a circle on the road next to the car. He says \\\"Don't leave this circle\\\" and cuts her tires. He comes back and the Blonde is giggling. He says\\\"Oh you think thats funny!\\\" and rips her convertable top. He comes back and the blonde is laughing. The driver gets mad and lights her car on fire. The driver comes back and the blonde is rolling on the floor laughing. He asks \\\" What is so funny!\\\" She says \\\"I stepped out of the circle 9 times!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 80,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Blonde and a Burnette are watching the news at 6. It is live on the scene. It has been reported that a old homeless man is on top of a large bridge and swears that he will jump off the bridge. The Burnette turns around and says to the Blonde\\\" I bet you $50 that he will jump. Th blonde says\\\" You're on. Sure enough the old man jumps and falls to his death. The Burnette snickers to herself and says\\\"I must admit I did watch the news at 5. The blonde says So did I but, I did'nt think he would jump twice!!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 81,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There are three blondes playing Jeopardy. The announcer says, \\\"This is the final question. How many \\\"D's\\\" are in Jeopardy?\\\" The first blond says \\\"1.\\\" The announcer goes  to number two and she says \\\"1000.\\\" \\\"I'm not even going to ask,\\\" the announcer said. He goes up to the third blonde and she says \\\"33\\\" \\\"How did you get 33?\\\" he asks. The blond starts singing to herself, \\\"Dun Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun...\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 82,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket.'Excuse me' she said 'you only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat.'The blonde was very stubborn and said 'Im blonde and beautiful and I'm going to New York.'So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same.'Im blonde and beautiful and Im going to new york.'This went on throught 4 other flight attendants.Finally they went to the captain and told him the problem.He said 'I can handle this' and went to talk to her.Hw whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class.All the flight attendatns were shocked and they asked him how he did it.He said 'I told her first class wasn't going to New York.'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Military\",\r\n        \"id\": 83,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head all go hunting together. Then they decide to all go their separate ways. When they all come back, the brunette had shot a rabbit. The other 2 ask \\\"How'd you do that?\\\"She says: \\\"Well, I followed some tracks,and BOOM, I got a rabbit.\\\" The red-head had came back with a deer. The blond & brunette ask \\\"How'd you do that?\\\" She says:\\\"Well, I follwed some tracks and BOOM, I got a deer.\\\" The blonde comes back all beat up and bloody, without any game. They ask \\\"HOW'D YOU DO THAT?!?\\\" And she says: \\\"Well I followed some tracks, and BOOM, I got hit by a train\\\"THE END\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 84,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde wearing headphones walks into a store and on the window it said 'No Headphones' so the clerk says, \\\"I'm afraid I'll have to make you take off those headphones.\\\"The blonde paid no attention to the clerk, so he said louder \\\"If you don't take off those headphones I will!\\\".The blonde still paid no attention, so the clerk yanked the headphones off of her.Then she fainted all of a sudden.The clerk put on the headphones to see what she was listening to.All he heard was \\\"Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 85,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde walking by the river came across another blonde directly across from her. The first blonde waved to the other and said \\\"hey, how do i get to the other side\\\"? The other blonde answered \\\"You're already on the other side\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 86,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young man wanted to get his beautiful \\\"blonde\\\" wife \\nsomething nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he \\ndecides to buy her a cellphone.\\n\\nShe is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and \\nexplains to her all the features on the phone. The next day\\nthe blonde goes shopping.\\n\\nHer phone rings and it's her husband, \\\"Hi hun,\\\"he says \\\"how \\ndo you like your new phone?\\\"\\n\\nShe replies: \\\"I just love, it's so small and your voice is \\nclear as a bell! But there's one thing I don't understand \\nthough.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"What's that, baby?\\\" asks the husband.\\n\\n\\\"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 87,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"What do u call a blonde with 1brain cell?     GIFTED!What do u call a blonde with 2brain cells?     PREGNANT!What do u call a blonde with 3brain cells?     A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 88,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There's this blonde who goes into an electronics shop, and asks the bloke in there if she can buy this TV. But the bloke says Sorry, we dont serve blondes.      So she goes away, dyes her hair brown, and goes back. Sorry, we dont serve blondes, the bloke says.So she goes back and dyes her hair ginger, but he still tells her they dont serve blondes.Sooooo, she goes back yet again, but dyes her hair black. Again, she asks if she can buy the TV, but yet again, she cant get served.Look, she says, how can you tell i'm a blonde, even tho i've dyed my hair???Soory lady, thats a microwave!!!!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 89,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde dyed her hair to red one day, then she takes a walk down the road and comes upon a farm. She walks up to the fenced yard where the farmer is counting his sheeps. The farmer  said hello and that if she guessed how many he had, then she can keep one. The blonde thought it was a great idea, so she starts counting in her head. She finally guessed 26, which was RIGHT!!! The farmer was amazed, but he kept his word. She climbed over the fence and back with the animal in her arms. The farmer takes one look at her and the animal and says, \\\" If I guess what natural hair color you have, can i have my dog back?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 90,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert because their car broke down. The redhead grabs some water, the brunette grabs some food, and the blonde grabs the car door. They began walking, when the redhead turns to the brunette and says,\\\" Why did you bring the food?\\\" She replies, \\\" Well in case i get hungry, i can eat it. Why did you bring water?\\\" The redhead replies, \\\" Well in case i get thirsty, i can drink it.\\\" Then they both turn to the blonde and say, \\\" Why did you bring the car door?\\\" She replies, \\\" Well in case i get hot, i can roll down the window.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 91,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were running away from the cops. They ran into a barn, and each hid in a sack. The cops came and kicked the sack with the redhead in it, she said, \\\"meow...\\\" The cops said, \\\" It's just a cat,\\\" and goes on and kicks the sack with the brunette. She says, \\\" woof...\\\" The cops say, \\\" It's just a dog.\\\" They kick the sack with the blonde and she says, \\\" Potatoe...\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 92,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He  finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there  for a while the blind guyyells to the bartender: \\\"Hey, wanna hear a  blonde joke?' A deathlysilencetranscends the bar. In a deep, husky,  menacing voice, the woman next tohimsays: \\\"Before you tell that  joke, you should know something. Thebartenderis blonde, the bouncer  is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with ablack belt in Karate.  What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blondeand she's a weight  lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's apro wrestler.  Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tellthatjoke?\\\"The blind man pauses to think, and says, \\\"Nah, not if  I'm gonna have toexplain it five times.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 93,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?Gifted\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 94,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Bill how he wanted his steak, she replied, \\\"medium.\\\"\\n\\nThen the waiter said, \\\"how about your vegetable?\\\" Bill replied, \\\"Oh, she can order for herself.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Political\",\r\n        \"id\": 95,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day two blondes decided to take a trip to Disney Land. They were riding down the road and all of a sudden they came to a fork in the road and a sign said disneyland left.  So they looked at eachother and said dangget and went back home.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 96,\r\n        \"rating\": 1.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"there were three people walking on the street.a smart blonde, a stupid blonde and santa clause.suddenly, they see on the ground 100$.question : wich of them pick it up ? Answer:the stupid blonde !Why?because the smart blonde and santa clause don't exist, they are fiction.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 97,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, \\\"I'm going to try to swim to shore.\\\" So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, \\\"I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.\\\" So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, \\\"I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too.\\\" So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, \\\"I'm too tired to go on!\\\" So she swam back.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 98,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"You and your two blonde friends (Melisa and Sarah) are stranded on a desert island.You have no food at all with you and you are all starving.Then you guys found a piece of bologna.None of you want to share it and you guys don't know how to decide who keeps it.Then you said that whoever had the best dream would win the bologna.The next day you ask Melisa what her dream was. She said that she dreamed that she was rich.Then you asked Sarah what her dream was. She said that she dreamed that she was richer than Melisa.Then they asked you what your dream was.You said that you didn't have a dream but you wrote a poem.They asked you what it was.You said: \\\"Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony.While you guys were all asleep I ate the damn bologna!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 99,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the blondes said, \\\"Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 100,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Q: How do you get the blonde to turn on the light after sex?A: tell her to open the car doorQ:what did the blondes' left leg say to the right leg?A: Nobody knows, they've never met\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 101,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blonde, a brunette, a red-head and a bald woman stuck on a desert island.The brunette decided to swim home, but got 1/3 of the way there and drowned, The red-had decided to try, but drowned 1/4 of the way there. The blonde decide that she had to risk it, so she swam 1/2 of the way there when she stopped and swam back.\\\"why did you come all the way back, when you were half way home?\\\" screamed the bald woman. \\\"well\\\", said the blonde \\\"I was going to carry on, but I got tired and thought I'd rest first\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 102,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two blondes walk in to a building.You'd think one of them would have seen the building.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 103,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Whats a blondes favorite nursury rhyme?humpme dumpme\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 104,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This blonde went in an electrical store for a microve. She asked can i please have that microve? the guy said no you blonde. She goes dyes her head black after that she went to the shop can i please have that microve? the guy said no you blonde. so she goes dyes her hair all different colours after that she went to the shop can i please have that microve? How do you know I'm a blonde? the guy said because your pointeting to a fridge\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 105,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.29\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde was sick and tired of hearing jokes about being dumb. She decided to dye her hair \\nblack and set out to prove to the world just how wrong they were about blondes.  \\nShe drove out of the city and into the country where there were many sheep farms. She spotted \\na sheep farmer, stopped her car and said, \\\"If I can tell you exactly how many sheep are in \\nyour field, will you give me a sheep?\\\" He said \\\"Sure!\\\" She counted and said \\\"131.\\\" The farmer\\n said, \\\"That's Right! Go ahead and get a sheep.\\\" The blonde went and got her sheep.  \\n\\nThen, the farmer said, \\\"If I tell you what color your hair really is, can I have it back?\\\" and \\nshe said, \\\"Yes.\\\"  \\n\\n\\\"Blonde. Now give me back my dog.\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 106,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who hit the ground first?The brunette, cos the blonde stopped to asked for directions!!!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 107,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, \\\"I think I would like this room in a cream color.\\\"\\n\\nThe contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, \\\"Green side up!\\\" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. \\\"In this room, I was thinking of an off blue.\\\" Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, \\\"Green side up!\\\"\\n\\nThis baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, \\\"Green side up!\\\"\\n\\nStruck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, \\\"Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?\\\"\\n\\nThe contractor replied, \\\"Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 108,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde and a brunette were walking down the basement stairs in the dark to find a wrench when the blonde screamed. \\\"Something brushed against my rightr leg!!\\\" \\\"Oh My Gosh. Are you sure?\\\" \\\"Yea and it keeps doing it.\\\" she said as she ran around the basement. Then she stopped and thought for a second. \\\"Hold up. That was just my left leg.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 109,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blonde, a brunette and a red-head stuck on a deserted island. They were searching for food one day when they found a genie lamp. They each rubbed it and a genie popped up. He said \\\"Since you all found my lamp I will give you a wish each. The brunette said \\\"I wish I was 10% smarter so I can get off this island.\\\" She swam off the island. The red-head seeing what the blonde did said \\\"I wish I was 25% smarter to get off this island.\\\" She built a raft out of leaves and branches. The blonde seeing what they did said \\\"I wish I was 50% smarter to get off this island.\\\" The blonde turned into a man and walked over the bridge.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 110,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day a blonde was broke and didn't know what to do. So she decided to kidnap a child. She went over to the play ground and saw plenty of little kids running around. She picked out this one little boy and went over and grabbed him. She told the little boy she was going to kidnap and the little boy knowing she was a blonde didn't mind at all. The blonde wrote a note as the following:To whom it may concern:I have just kidnapped your little boy and I want one million dollars in a paper bag under the peach tree at noon.           Sincerely                a blondeAfter she was finished the note she pinned the note to his shirt and sent home. The next day the blonde she went to the peach tree at noon and there was a brown paper bag. All the money was there but there was a little note. It said:Dear a blonde:Your money is all there I just wanted to know how you could do this to another blonde.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 111,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde and a brunette were walking down the dark basement stairs to find a wrench. When they were half way down the stairs the blonde screamed. \\\"What's wrong?\\\" \\\"Something brushed against my  right leg!!\\\" So both the brunette and the blonde were running around the basement screaming. \\\"I keep feeling it!! Make it stop! Wait\\\" The blonde said. \\\"That was just my left leg!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 112,\r\n        \"rating\": 1.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A blonde a brunette and a red-head were stuck on a deserted island. When they were searching for food one day they found a genie's lamp. They all rubbed it at the same time. The genie popped out and said \\\"Since you all rubbed my lamp at the same time, you get one wish each.\\\" The blonde went first \\\"I wish I was 10% smarter to get off this island.\\\" The next thing you knew it she was swimming away from the island. Seeing what she did the brunette said \\\"I wish I was 25% smarter to get off this island.\\\" The next thing you knew it she was making a raft out of branches and leaves. In the next 10 minutes she was off the island. Seeing what they both did the red-head said \\\" I wish I was 50 % smarter to get off this island.\\\" The next thing you knew it she became a man and walked over the bridge.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 113,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"The Secret Service was looking for more employees. They put up a sign and the next day they picked the next three people. They brought the first guy into a room and gave him a pistol and said\\\" Your wife is in that room go in and shoot her\\\" The guy looked at them and said\\\" No I can't do it\\\" So the Secret Service brought out the next guy and told him the same thing and handed him the gun. \\\"He went into the room and came back out but he didn't want to shoot her. So the Secret Service who was really desperate brought the last person in. She was a blonde so they were worried. They said\\\" Your husbandis in that room and I want you to shoot him.\\\" \\\"Alright\\\" she announced. She went into the room and the Secret Service heard alot of crashing and banging. They went in and found the man dead. \\\"What the hell is going on\\\" \\\"Oh The gun was a blank so I beat him to death with a chair.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 114,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. \\\"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,\\\" she said. \\\"What's yoursecret for a long happy life?\\\" \\\"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,\\\" he said. \\\"I also drink a caseof whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.\\\" \\\"That's amazing,\\\" the woman said. \\\"How old are you?' \\\"Twenty-six.\\\" ** Shibu **\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 115,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Why did the blonde jumped off the bridge?\\nBecause she thought her maxi had wings!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 116,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"I knew a blond so stupid that when she read the \\\"concentrat\\\" on the orange juice container, she did.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 117,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a blond a brunette, and a red-head and they were walking down the street. A short man came up to them and said: in that castle there is a magic mirror, if u look into the mirror and tell the truth you will be granted any wish you please, but if you lie you will be banished into the mirror forever The girls went to the castle and the red-head went in first shhe said: I think I am the prettiest out of the blond and the brunette, she got a pot of silver. Next the brunette went in she said: I think I am the smartest out of the red-head and the blond, she got a new car. The blond went in to try her luck she walked up to the mirror and said: I think...    She was vanished into the mirror forever.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Blonde Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 118,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Why are they called apartments if they are joined together?\\n\\nAn archaeologist is a best husband a woman can get. As older she grows, the more interested he is in her.\\n\\nA fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.\\n\\nIf moths are attracted to bright lights, how come they sleep during the day?\\n\\nI love being married. It's so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.\\n\\nAnyone who thinks he is too small to make a difference has never been in bed with a mosquito.\\n\\nI wear my wife's glasses because she wants me to see things her way.\\n\\nLaugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 119,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"1.  Capmbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmmm, good...2. Coca Cola Conddoms: the real thing.3. Diet pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.4. Double Mint: Double your pleasure, Double your fun!5. Energizer: It keeps going and going and going...6. Ford condoms: the best never Rest.7. Hewlett Packard Condoms; Expanding possibilities.8. KFC Condoms: Finger-lickin good.9. M&M Condom: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!10. Mars Bar condoms: The quicker picker upper!11. Maxwell House: good to the last drop!12. Microsoft: Where do you want to go today?13. Nike Condoms: just do it.14. Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.15. Taco Bell: Get some; make a run for the border.16. Tattslotto Condoms: Who's next?17. Star Trek condoms: To boldly go where no man has gone before.18. Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.19. United Airlines travel pack: Fly United.20. Yellow pages Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? don't you wish everybody did?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 120,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.57\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A good friend will bail you out of jail.A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,\\\"Damn, that was fun!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 121,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.1\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"If nobody is perfect, and I'm a nobody, am I perfect?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 122,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 123,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits andexhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing \\\"fairly well\\\" for my age. Alittle concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, \\\"Doyou think I'll live to be 80?\\\"He asked, \\\"Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?\\\"\\\"Oh no,\\\" I replied. \\\"I've never done either.\\\"Then he asked, \\\"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?\\\"I said \\\"No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!\\\"\\\"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,ballooning, or rock climbing ?\\\"\\\"No, I don't,\\\" I said.He said, \\\"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?\\\"\\\"No,\\\" I said. \\\"I've never done any of those things.\\\"He looked at me and said, \\\"Then why do you give a damn if you live to be80?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 124,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.23\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"If 7-11(pharmacy) is open 24/7 then why do they have locks on their doors?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 125,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Can a teacher give a homeless man homework?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 126,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A little kid asks his father, \\\"Daddy, is God a man or a woman?\\\" \\\"Both son. God is both.\\\" After a while the kid comes again and asks, \\\"Daddy, is God black or white?\\\" \\\"Both son, both.\\\" The child returns a few minutes later and says, \\\"Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 127,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.69\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered\\tto her mother, \\\"Why is the bride dressed in white?\\\"\\t\\\"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the\\thappiest day of her life.\\\" Her mother tried to explain, keeping\\tit simple.\\tThe child thought about this for a moment, then said, \\\"So, why\\tis the groom wearing black?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 128,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.71\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub.Each orderd a pint of beer . Then a fly landed in each one's beer . The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer  away and asked for another one .The Scott took the fly out ,shrugged, and drank his beer . The Irisman pinched the flybetween his   fingers and yelled \\\" SPIT IT OUT! \\\"SPIT IT OUT!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 129,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"At age 4, success is..................not peeing in your pants.\\n\\nAt age 12, success is..................having friends.\\n\\nAt age 20, success is..................having sex.\\n\\nAt age 35, success is..................making money.\\n\\nAt age 70, success is..................having sex.\\n\\nAt age 80, success is..................having friends.\\n\\nAt age 90, success is..................not peeing your pants.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 130,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.42\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Upon landing hard, the pilot got on the PA system, \\\"Sorry, folks for the hard landing. It wasn't my fault, blame it on the asphalt.\\\"On this particular flight, the airline pilot noted that he had \\\"hammered the plane a little hard on the runway.\\\"The airline policy was that he had to stand at the exit and apologize to each passenger getting off the plane, saying, \\\"Thank you for flying XYZ airlines and sorry for the rough landing.\\\"All the passengers had gotten off the plane, except for one little old lady, walking with a cane and wearing a hearing aid.She proceeded to walk up to the pilot and and said, \\\"Do you mind if I ask a question?\\\"He said, \\\"Why no, ma'am, go ahead.\\\"She then replied, \\\"I didn't hear the announcement. Did we land, or were we shot down?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Aviation\",\r\n        \"id\": 131,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"why does sour cream have an expiry date?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Deep Thoughts\",\r\n        \"id\": 132,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida.  At the crossing they were stopped by an over-zealous border guard, on his first day at work.  He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions and check for passports.The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.Officer: \\\"Where are you going?\\\"Husband: \\\"We're on vacation and going to Florida.\\\"Wife: \\\"What did he say?  What did he say?\\\"Husband: \\\"He wants to know where we're going.\\\"Officer: \\\"How long will you be gone?\\\"Husband: \\\"About one month.\\\"Wife: \\\"What did he say?  What did he say?\\\"Husband: \\\"He wants to know how long we'll be gone.\\\"Officer: \\\"Where are you from?\\\"Husband: \\\"We're from Toronto, Ontario.\\\"Officer: \\\"Toronto, huh.  I was there once.  Nice city. Had the worst date experience in my life.\\\"Wife: \\\"What did he say?  What did he say?\\\"Husband: \\\"He says he knows you!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 133,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The\\ndirector of the group said, \\\"Now, I'd like each of you to give the\\nfacts of your daily routine.\\\"\\n\\nSeveral people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously\\noverweight member said, \\\"I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I\\nexercise frequently.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Hmm?\\\" said the manager. \\\"And are you sure there is nothing you\\nover-indulge in?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Well,\\\" said the man, \\\"I lie extensively.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Crazy Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 134,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young man joins the Air Force. He writes his father, saying that he is really frightened about the upcoming parachute exercises. A few months later he gets leave and goes home. His father asks, \\\"So, how did the parachute jump go, son?\\\" Son replies, \\\"Well, Dad, it came time for me to jump and I froze at the door. My drill sergeant comes up behind me. He is a really big tough guy. He said to me that I had to either jump out of the plane or he was going to \\\"do me\\\" with his 12-incher!\\\"Father says, \\\"Well, Son, did you jump?\\\" \\\"Just a little at first\\\" said the son.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Aviation\",\r\n        \"id\": 135,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. \\nThe clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, \\\"This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill.\\\" \\nThe man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.\\n\\\"What's so funny?\\\" asks the clerk.\\n\\\"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house.\\\" the man replies. \\nThe clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, \\\"Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's privates off.\\\" \\nThe man takes another look through the scope and says, \\\"You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 136,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.63\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, \\\"What are you waiting for?\\\" The husband replies, \\\"Autumn.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 137,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich \\\"why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?\\\" Bob replied \\\"take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!\\\" So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman. James went to see Bob again and said \\\"I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!\\\" Bob looked at James and asked, \\\"have you tried putting the potato in the front?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 138,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, \\\"Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"I'm sure I can.\\\" the psychiatrist replied. \\\"Just go over and lie face down on that couch.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Crazy Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 139,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man walks into a bar. On the bar sits a big jar of twenty dollar bills. The man asks the bartender,\\\"What's the deal with the jar of money?\\\" \\\"Well\\\", the bartender says,\\\"I've got a horse tied up in the stable out back. This horse has never laughed in his life. You put a twenty in the jar, then if you can make my horse laugh, You win all the money!\\\" The man puts his twenty in the jar, and goes out to the stable. He comes back just a few minutes later, and you can hear the horse laughing all the way inside. The man takes his money and leaves. About a year later, he goes back to the bar, and they've got another jar of twenties there. \\\"What's the deal now?\\\" He asks. \\\"Well\\\",the bartender says,\\\"That damn horse won't stop laughing! So the first person who can make my horse stop laughing wins the money!\\\" The man pays his twenty, and goes out to the stable. He returns a few minutes later, and the horse is bawling his eyes out. He picks up his money and is about to leave when the bartender stops him. \\\"Alright\\\", he says,\\\"You have won an awful lot of money from me and I want to know how you did it!!\\\" \\\"Easy\\\", he says,\\\"I made him laugh by saying mine was bigger than his, and I made him cry by proving it!!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 140,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.6\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court.The judge asked, 'Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?'Phil replies, 'Yes Judge, that is correct.''And how do you explain this unusual conduct?' the judge inquires.Phil replies, 'I didn't want to interrupt her Your Honor.'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 141,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Bob and Earl were best friends and had been for 50 years. They went to baseball games together and had the best time possible. They truly loved the game but they always wondered if there was baseball in heaven and agreed that whoever died first had to call the other guy and tell them if there was baseball in heaven.\\nThen one night Earl died and then a few days later Bob went to his funeral and came home after the burial service. Then the phone rang it was Earl. \\nEarl said,\\\"Bob is this you\\\"\\nBob said,\\\"Yes, Earl how are you doing and is there baseball in heaven?\\\"\\nEarl said,\\\"Well I've got some good news and some bad news.\\\"\\nBob said, \\\"Whats the good news?\\\"\\nEarl said, \\\"Well there is baseball in heaven and you can play with Babe Ruth and everybody its great\\\"\\nBob said, \\\"Then what's the bad news?\\\"\\nEarl said, \\\"Well Bob, your starting pitching tommorow night!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 142,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two guys went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the attendant. \\n\\\"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten,\\\" he said. \\\"If you guess right, you win free sex.\\\" \\\"Okay,\\\" agreed one of the guys, \\\"I guess seven.\\\" \\\"Sorry, I was thinking of eight,\\\" replied the attendant. \\nThe next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number. \\n\\\"Two!\\\" said the second guy. \\n\\\"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. \\\"Come back and try again.\\\" As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, \\\"I think this contest is rigged.\\\" \\\"No way,\\\" said his buddy. \\\"My wife won twice last week.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 143,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.54\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.\\\"What size?\\\" asks the clerk?\\\"Gee, I don't know.\\\"\\\"Go see Sophie in aisle 4.\\\" He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, \\\"Medium!\\\" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly. Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, \\\"Large!\\\" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.\\\"What size?\\\" The kid embarrassedly says \\\"I've never done this before. I don't know what size.\\\" The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells \\\"Clean up in aisle 4!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 144,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.73\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. \\\"Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this.\\\" \\\"What's the problem?\\\" the docotor inquired. \\\"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.\\\" \\\"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you.\\\" The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. \\\"Did my advice not work?\\\" asked the doctor. \\\"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women.\\\" \\\"So, what's your problem?\\\" \\\"I don't have a problem,\\\" the man replied. \\\"My wife does.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 145,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. \\\"What's that?\\\" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, \\\"Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree. \\\"Horrified, she said, \\\"Tarzan, you have it all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.\\\" She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground, and spread her legs. \\\"Here,\\\" she said, pointing, \\\"You must put it in here.\\\" Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane screamed and rolled around in agony for several minutes. Eventually, she managed to gasp, \\\"What the hell did you do that for?\\\" \\\"Tarzan always check for bees.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 146,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head\\nwaiter one morning and read from the menu. \\\"I'd like one under-\\ncooked egg so that it's runny, and one over-cooked egg so that it's\\ntough and hard to eat. I'd also like grilled bacon which is a bit on\\nthe cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that\\nit's impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"That's a complicated order sir,\\\" said the bewildered waiter. \\\"It\\nmight be quite difficult.\\\"\\n\\nThe guest replied sarcastically, \\\"It can't be that difficult because\\nthat's exactly what you brought me yesterday!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Food Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 147,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long.Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down the driveway he goes.As he is coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Minutes later, he returns to the garage.He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers,\\\"The weather out there is terrible.\\\"To which she sleepily replies, \\\"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 148,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, \\\"Dear, what would you like for your present?\\\"\\\"I really don't think I should say.\\\"\\\"How about a diamond ring?\\\" the husband asks.\\\"I don't care much for diamonds.\\\"\\\"Well, how about a mink coat?\\\"\\\"You know I do not like furs.\\\" she says.\\\"A golden necklace?\\\" asks the man.\\\"I already have three of them.\\\"\\\"Well, gosh, what do you want?\\\"The wife replies, \\\"What I'd really like is a divorce.\\\"\\\"Hmmm,\\\" says the man, \\\"I wasn't planning on spending that much.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 149,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.\\\"Twenty bucks,\\\" she says.He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell it's only twenty bucks. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.\\\"What's going on here, people?\\\" asks the officer.\\\"I'm making love to my wife,\\\" the man answers indignantly.\\\"Oh, I'm sorry,\\\" says the cop, \\\"I didn't know.\\\"\\\"Well,\\\" said the man, \\\"neither did I until you shined that light in her face.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 150,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.13\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A woman asks her husband, \\\"Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?\\\"He declines. \\\"Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,\\\" he says. \\\"It's really taken the edge off my appetite.\\\"At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. \\\"A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?\\\"He declines. \\\"The Viagra,\\\" he says, \\\"really trashes my desire for food.\\\"Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat.\\\"Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?\\\"He declines again. \\\"Naw, still not hungry.\\\"\\\"Well,\\\" she says, \\\"would you mind letting me up? I'm starving.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 151,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A wife asks her husband, \\\"Honey, if I died, would you remarry?\\\"\\\"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would.. We all need companionship.\\\"\\\"If I died and you remarried,\\\" the wife asks, \\\"would she live in this house?\\\"\\\"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would.\\\"\\\"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house,\\\" the wife asks, \\\"would she sleep in our bed?\\\"\\\"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2,000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess she would.\\\"\\\"If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?\\\"\\\"Oh, no,\\\" the husband replies. \\\"She's left-handed.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 152,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age. She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an Australian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had indeed never been with a woman and they were married. On their wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the room.Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband. \\\"thought you had never been with a woman. He replied, \\\"That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get\\\"!\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 153,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.' She gives him his beer. About 15 minutes later, he says again, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.' She does. A few minutes later, he asks again for a beer. The wife says, 'Don't you think you're drinking too much beer? It hasn't been half an hour that you got here and you've already had two beers. I'm getting fed up with this.' The husband looks up and mumbles, 'Now it starts.'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 154,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old, the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities, she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well, whereup on he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night. After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there the old guy is again, ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling, which is again successful, after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time, when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 20 year old and ready for more. Once again, they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, 'I am really impressed that a guy your age has enough juice to go for it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one.' The old guy looks puzzled and turns to her and says, 'Was I already here?'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 155,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. \\\"Grandpa, what are you doing?\\\" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. \\\"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?\\\" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said,\\\"Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 156,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.14\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Nice Hotel\\n\\n\\nA husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they decide to stop at a nice hotel and take a room. They only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk explains that $350 is the standard rate, the man insists\\non speaking to the manager.\\n\\nThe manager enters the conversation and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which were available for the husband and wife to use.\\nHe also explains that they could have taken in one of the shows which the hotel is famous for. \\\"The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,\\\"\\nexplains the manager.\\n\\nNo matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, \\\"But we didn't use it!\\\"\\n\\nThe manager is unmoved. Eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and hands it to the manager. \\\"But sir,\\\" the managers says, \\\"this check is only made out for $100.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"That's right,\\\" replies the man. \\\"I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"What! I didn't sleep with your wife!\\\" exclaims the manager.\\n\\n\\\"Well,\\\" the man replies, \\\"she was here, and you could have.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 157,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform in bed anymore.  He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.   Finally the doctor says to him \\\"this is all in your mind\\\", and refers him to a psychiatrist.  After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, \\\"I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.\\\" Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor tells , \\\"I can cure this\\\", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke........   The witch doctor says, \\\"This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year!  All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!\\\"   The guy then asks the witch doctor \\\"What happens when it's over?\\\"   The witch doctor says \\\"all you have to say is '1234' and it will go down.  But be warned it will not work again for a year!\\\" The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news.......  So, he is lying in bed with her and says \\\"123\\\", and suddenly he gets a massive erection. His wife turns over and says \\\"What did you say '123' for?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 158,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a \\nbench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins \\nto talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.\\n\\nMAN: \\\"Hello.\\\" \\nWOMAN: \\\"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?\\\" \\nMAN: \\\"Yes\\\" \\nWOMAN: \\\"I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?\\\" \\nMAN: \\\"Sure, ...go ahead if you like it.\\\" \\n\\nWOMAN: \\\"I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked.\\\" \\nMAN: \\\"How much?\\\" \\nWOMAN: \\\"$60,000\\\" \\nMAN: \\\"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.\\\" \\nWOMAN: \\\"Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000.\\\" \\nMAN: \\\"Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.\\\" \\nWOMAN: \\\"OK. I'll see you later! I love you! \\n\\nMAN: \\\"Bye, I love you, too.\\\" \\nThe man hangs up .The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. \\n\\nThen he asks: \\\"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 159,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.\\n\\n\\\"What's the matter?\\\" he was asked.\\n\\nHe said, \\\"I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 160,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.71\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. \\n\\nHis eyes fluttered open and he said, \\\"You're beautiful!\\\" and then he fell asleep again. \\n\\nHis wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said \\\"You're cute!\\\" \\nWell, the wife was dissapointed because instead of \\\"beautiful\\\" it was \\\"cute.\\\" \\nShe said \\\"What happened to 'beautiful'?\\\"\\n\\nHis reply was \\\"The drugs are wearing off!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 161,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, \\\"I bet you don't know what day this is.\\\" \\\"Of course I do,\\\" he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. \\\"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!\\\" she exclaimed. \\\"I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 162,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says \\\"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.\\\"The old man says without hesitation, \\\"I now pronounce you man and wife.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 163,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, \\\"So, what did you bring?\\\" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the \\\"Grandma Moses of Jail\\\". Then he asked the first, \\\"What did you bring?\\\" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, \\\"I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games.\\\" The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, \\\"Why are you so smug? What did you bring?\\\" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said \\\"I brought these.\\\" The other two were puzzled and asked - \\\"What can you do with those?\\\" He grinned and pointed to the box and said - \\\"Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating\\\"...\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 164,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman \\\"Give me six double vodkas.\\\" The barman says \\\"Wow!, you must have had one hell of a day.\\\" \\\"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay.\\\" The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, \\\"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!\\\" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender says \\\"Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?\\\". \\\"Yeah, my wife...\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 165,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.56\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"After a nice dinner the two couples got up from the table.  The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room.\\nOne of the gents said to the other, \\\"I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, \\\"honey pie\\\" and \\\"sweet pea\\\", and \\\"sugar\\\" all the time.\\nThe other gent said, \\\"Well to tell you the truth, four years ago, I forget her name.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 166,\r\n        \"rating\": 1.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.\\\"Where have you been?\\\" demanded his wife when he entered the house.\\\"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock.\\\"The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, \\\"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 167,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.13\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, \\\"What is this, Father?\\\" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded \\\"Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.\\\"While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, \\\"Go get your mother.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 168,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes and then starts screaming with extasy and pleasure. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again, and again screams as if he had just had the best sexual intercourse of his life. The woman is about to go nuts.A few more minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again, and again is fully aroused. The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, \\\"Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've acted as if youv'e had great sex! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?\\\" The man replies, \\\"I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.\\\" The woman, now feeling badly, says, \\\"Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?\\\" The man looks at her and says, \\\"Pepper.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 169,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, \\\"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.\\\" The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, \\\"I've got a better idea... let's pretend we're married.\\\" \\\"Why not,\\\" giggles the woman. \\\"Good,\\\" he replies. \\\"Get your own blanket.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 170,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, \\\"Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.\\\"The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph.She then says, \\\"I don't want you to try to talk me out of it because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you.\\\"Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.She says, \\\"I want the house.\\\" Again the husband speeds up and he is now doing 70 mph.She says, \\\"I want the kids too.\\\" The husband just keeps driving faster and faster until he reaches 80 mph.She says, \\\"I want the car, the checking account and all the credit cards too.\\\" The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass pillar, as she says, \\\"Is there anything you want?\\\"The husband says, \\\"No, I've got everything I need.\\\"She asks, \\\"What's that?\\\"The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, \\\"I've got the airbag!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 171,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend some time on his farm, and being as busy as he was, the farmer had no choice but to accept her offer.A few days later, the farmer's mother-in-law was killed when his mule kicked her.Thousands of people from town who had heard about the death came to the poor lady's funeral, many that the farmer didn't even know. A minister noticed this, came up to the farmer, and asked him, \\\"Why are there so many people here?\\\"The farmer answered, \\\"Oh, they're not here for the funeral. They want to buy the mule.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 172,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.\\n\\n\\\"Last night I made love to my wife four times,\\\" the Frenchman bragged, \\\"And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,\\\" the Italian responded, \\\"And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man.\\\"\\n\\nWhen the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, \\\"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Once,\\\" he replied.\\n\\n\\\"Only once?\\\" the Italian arrogantly snorted. \\\"And what did she say to you this morning?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Don't stop.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 173,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, \\\"Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?\\\" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, \\\"Honey, please...just one more time before die.\\\" She says, \\\"Of course, Dear,\\\" and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. \\\"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...\\\" At this point the wife sits up and says,\\\"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 174,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"\\\"Honey,\\\" said this husband to his wife, \\\"I invited a friend home for supper.\\\" \\\"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!\\\" \\\"I know all that.\\\" \\\"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?\\\" \\\"Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 175,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, \\\"Did you see anything under the table that you liked?\\\"Jeff admitted, \\\"Well, yes I did.\\\"She said \\\"you can have it, but it will cost you $100.\\\"After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, \\\"Did Jeff come by this afternoon?\\\"Totally shocked, Sandy replied, \\\"Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.\\\"Next Dave asked, \\\"Did Jeff give you $100?\\\"Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, \\\"Yes, he did give me $100.\\\"\\\"Good,\\\" Dave says.\\\"Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 176,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.42\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan \\nofficer.He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. \\n\\nThe bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security  for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything \\n checks out. \\n\\nThe loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. \\n The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the \\n Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground \\n garage and parks it there. \\n\\nTwo weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, \\n which comes to $15.41. \\nThe loan officer says, \\\"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, \\n and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little \\n puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a \\n multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow \\n $5,000?\\\" \\n\\nThe Chinese replies: \\\"Where else in New York City can I park my car for \\n two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 177,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says, \\\"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!\\\".The wife says, \\\"Wow! That's great! I'm so happy! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?\\\"He says, \\\"I don't care. Just get the hell out!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 178,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, \\\"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.\\\"With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.God got mad and said, \\\"You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?\\\"And the man replied, \\\"I don't know, my wife told me to stand here.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 179,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. \\\"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.\\\" The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: \\\"Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.\\\" The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.\\\"Where are you?\\\" the man asked. \\\"Who are you?\\\"\\\"I am your guardian angel,\\\" the voice answered.\\\"Oh yeah?\\\" the man asked. \\\"And where the hell were you when I got married?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 180,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed in the emergency room with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and a sedative and a Viagra pill every four hours.The nurse, rather astounded, said, \\\"What good will Viagra do him?\\\"The doctor replied, \\\"It will keep the sheets off his legs.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 181,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.\\\"What seems to be the problem?\\\"Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.The counselor spoke to the husband, \\\"Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!\\\"The husband scratched his head and replied, \\\"I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 182,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, \\\"Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.\\\"\\\"My darling,\\\" he replied, \\\"think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 183,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man takes his wife to the live stock show. They start heading down the   alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall   states: \\\"This bull mated 50 times last year.\\\"    The wife turns to her husband and says, \\\"He mated 50 times in a year,  isn't that nice!\\\"    They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: \\\"This bull mated 65  times last year.\\\"    The wife turns to her husband and says, \\\"This one mated 65 times last  year. That is over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one!\\\"    They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: \\\"This bull mated 365   times last year.\\\"    The wife's mouth drops open and says, \\\"WOW! He mated 365 times last  year.  That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one.\\\"    The fed up man turns to his wife and says, \\\"Go up and inquire if it was   the same old cow every day.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 184,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Mike was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Mike showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. \\\"First,\\\" he said, \\\"I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.\\\" The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition. \\\"Well,\\\" said Mike, \\\"you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 185,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"man's business trip is cancelled and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed, but about midnight, the phone rings.The man rolls over and answered...\\\"Hello?\\\"\\\"What?\\\"\\\"How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix.\\\"He hangs up and his wife asks, \\\"Who was it dear?\\\"\\\"Just some idiot who wanted to know if the coast was clear!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 186,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A couple has been married for many years, and one day the man tells his wife that he wishes she had bigger breasts.\\\"but how am I going to get bigger breasts?\\\" she asks.\\\"That's simple\\\", he says, \\\"just rub your breasts with toilet paper every day\\\".\\\"And that would do it?\\\", the surprised wife wonders.\\\"Well,\\\", answers the husband, \\\"it sure did work on your behind!\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 187,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An eldarly couple go to the Doctor. The man complains that when they have sex, the first time is OK but during the second time he sweats like a pig. The Doctor asks the wife if she has any idea why her husbands sweats like that. \\\"That's obvious\\\", she answers. \\\"The first time we have sex is in the winter, the second time is in the summer\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 188,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Two guys were talking at work. \\\"I've got a problem,\\\" said the first one. \\\"What is it?\\\"\\\"My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And I am fresh out of ideas. I mean it's HER mother, why can't she buy it?\\\"\\\"What did you buy her last year?\\\" the other one asked.\\\"Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot.\\\" \\\"Hmmmm, hard to top that one,\\\" said the other.The two guys couldn't come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn't buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday. When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, \\\"Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!\\\"Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, \\\"Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 189,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires, \\\"I'm leaving for the crusade. Here is the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs\\\". The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, \\\"Stop! Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 190,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. ''Can of PAINT!'' exclaimed the minister. ''Yeah,'' said the newlywed man. ''She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.'' The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.''That's okay,'' said the man. ''We're not welcome in Home Depot either.''\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 191,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As Emma undressed for bed, the husband (who was a burly bruiser) tossed his pants to his bride and said, \\\"Here, put these on.\\\" She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. \\\"I can't wear your pants\\\", she said. \\\"That's right!\\\", said the husband, \\\"and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!\\\"With that, she flipped him her panties and said, \\\"Try these on.\\\" He tried them on, and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecap. He said, \\\"Hell, I can't get into your panties!\\\" She said, \\\"That's right and that's the way it's going to be until your stupid attitude changes!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 192,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn't get the door open. And, every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then, she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry still continued his nightly routine. One day, the distraught wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior. The friend listened and suggested, \\\"Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then, he might change his ways.\\\" The wife thought that this might be a good idea. That night, Harry took off again after dinner. And, at about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Harry in. Instead of berating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Harry down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the foot stool, and took his shoes off. Then, she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a short while, she whispered to Harry, \\\"It's pretty late, dear. I think we should go upstairs to bed now, don't you think?\\\" Harry replied in his inebriated state, \\\"Heck, I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble when I get home anyway!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Bar Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 193,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, \\\"I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.\\\"The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: \\\"WHAT?\\\"\\\"What did he say? What's he want?\\\"His wife yells back, \\\"He needs your underwear.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 194,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Morris is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in \\\"fashion sense.\\\"\\n\\nThe man walks up to him and says, \\\"I didn't know you were into earrings.\\\" \\\"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring.\\\" Morris replies sheepishly. \\\"So, really? How long have you been wearing one?\\\" \\\"Ever since my wife found it in our bed.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 195,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man is having terrible headaches. He can't sleep, eat, think, or do much of anything because of the pain. Several doctors examined him and couldn't determine the cause of his problem. He finally went to one of the top neurological specialists in the country who examines him and says, \\\"I've found the cause of the pain. Your testicles are pushing up into your spine. The constant pressureon the spine causes the headaches. The only thing I can do is perform surgery and remove your testicles.\\\"\\n\\nThe man is shocked to hear this but the decision is not difficult as he know he cannot stand the pain of the headaches. He has the surgery and immediately fells like a new man. The pain is completely gone and he feels like he has a new life. He is so happy he decides to buy himself a new suit. He goes to a small men's shop and tells the old tailor that he wants to buy a suit.\\n\\n\\\"Sure,\\\" says the tailor. \\\"You're a 42 long, right?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Wow, how did you know?\\\" says the man.\\n\\n\\\"Hey, I've been in this business a long time. You learn a few things\\\" said the tailor.\\\"\\n\\nThe tailor brought the man a suit that fit perfectly. It looked so good that the man decided to buy a new shirt to go with it.\\n\\n\\\"16, 34, right?\\\" said the tailor. \\n\\n\\\"Right again!\\\" said the man. \\\"You're amazing.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"Hey, I've been in this business a long time. You learn a few things\\\".\\n\\nThe tailor brought a shirt and tie and they looked great. The man said, \\\"Hey, let's go for broke. Give me a pair of the silk boxers too.\\\" \\nThe tailor said, \\\"36 right?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"I'm disappointed,\\\" said the man. \\\"But 2 out of 3 is still good. I wear size 34 boxers.\\\"\\n\\nThe tailor said, \\\"Hey, I've been in this business for a long time and I think you need 36.\\\"\\n\\nThe man replied, \\\"It's obvious you know your business but I've worn size 34 for as long as I can remember. I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one\\\".\\n\\n\\\"Hey look,\\\" said the tailor, \\\"I'll sell you whatever you want. But I've been in this business a long time. If you wear a size 34 it's gonna push your nuts up into your spine and give you terrible headaches.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 196,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.38\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A married woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.\\\"Quick,\\\" said the woman to her lover, \\\"into the closet!\\\" She pushed him into the closet stark naked.The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. \\\"Who are you?\\\" he asked him.\\\"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,\\\" said the exterminator.\\\"What are you doing in there?\\\" the husband asked.\\\"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,\\\" the man replied.\\\"And where are your clothes?\\\" asked the husband.The man looked down at himself and said, ......\\\"Well those Little bastards!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 197,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Top 10 Things Not To Say To A Naked Man...\\n------------------------------------\\n\\n1 This explains your car.\\n2 I never saw one like that before. \\n3 But it still works, right? \\n4 Are you cold?\\n5 I guess this makes me the early bird. \\n6 Ahhhh, it's cute.\\n7 Can I be honest with you? \\n8 Maybe it looks better in natural light.\\n9 Will it squeak if I squeeze it? \\n10 Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 198,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they \\\"oohed and aahed\\\" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.\\\"It's free,\\\" Peter replied, \\\"this is Heaven.\\\"Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, \\\"what are the green fees?\\\"Peter's reply, \\\"This is heaven, you play for free.\\\"Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the world laid out.\\\"How much to eat?\\\" asked the old man. \\\"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!\\\" Peter replied with some exasperation.\\\"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?\\\" the old man asked timidly.Peter lectured, \\\"That's the best part . . . you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.\\\"With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.The old man looked at his wife and said, \\\"This is all your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 199,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, \\\"Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.\\\" \\\"Well,\\\" the doctor replied, \\\"go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say itagain. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness\\\". Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, \\\"Honey, what's for dinner?\\\" He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, \\\"Honey, what's for dinner?\\\" She replies, \\\"For the fourth time, vegetable stew!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 200,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?\\\"\\\"Look, I can't prescribe...\\\"\\\"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterlyto Hell! You've got to help me.\\\"The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. \\\"Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? JUST one.\\\"\\\"I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold...\\\" \\\"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?\\\"\\\"Um... okay.\\\"Our hero expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where his wife hasdinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. Our hero, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes: he drops one pill into his own coffee.His wife returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and coffee, our hero with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes. In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, \\\"I... need...a man...\\\"His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, \\\"Me... too..\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 201,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.8\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor. \\\"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you,\\\" asked the prosecutor. \\\"I can't do that,\\\" the victim replied. \\\"It was so crude and disgusting. I can't use language like that.\\\" \\\"Would it help to just write it down?\\\" The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury. The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket. The judge demanded, \\\"Please pass that note to the bailiff.\\\" \\\"But your honor,\\\" the juror protested, \\\"It's a private matter.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 202,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Mr. Benton thought he had had the last word when he presented his ex-wife with an unusual gift for her birthday. A tombstone on which he had carved, \\\"Here lies my ex-wife Sonja.....cold as usual.\\\" Much to his surprise, however, his wife one-upped him for his birthday with a tombstone of his own on which she'd had carved, \\\"Here lies my ex-husband Bennett.....stiff at last.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 203,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, \\\"My God, you saved my life!\\\" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum. \\\"What's the matter, sweetheart?\\\" she asks, \\\"We have a wonderful life together, I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?\\\"He says, \\\"Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt?\\\" \\\"Sure,\\\" she says, \\\"if it will help.\\\" He takes off his shirt and she puts it on.\\\"Now would you put on my pants?\\\" he asks.\\\"Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better,\\\" she says.\\\"Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?\\\" he asks.\\\"Whatever you want, sweetie,\\\" she says, and does.Then he says, \\\"Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?\\\" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, \\\"Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 204,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, \\\"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?\\\"The first man approached him and said, \\\"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?\\\"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, \\\"My wife's first husband.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 205,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, \\\"Hey, I haven't seenyou in a while. What happened? You look terrible.\\\"\\\"What do you mean?\\\" said the pirate, \\\"I feel fine.\\\"\\\"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.\\\"\\\"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm finenow.\\\"\\\"Well, ok, but what about that hook? \\\"What happened to your hand?\\\"\\\"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.\\\"\\\"What about that eye patch?\\\"\\\"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked upand one of them S*#t in my eye.\\\"\\\"You're kidding,\\\" said the bartender, \\\"you couldn't lose an eyejust from some bird S*%t.\\\"\\\"It was my first day with the hook.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 206,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car. \\\"Are you sure this is your house?\\\" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood. \\\"Shertainly!\\\" said the drunk, \\\"and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya.\\\" Entering the living room, he said, \\\"You shee that piano? Thash mine. You shee that giant television set? Thast mine too. Now follow me.\\\" The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. \\\"Thish ish my bedroom,\\\" he announced. \\\"Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her? \\\"Yeah?\\\" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story. \\\"Well, thash me!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Bar Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 207,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.83\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, \\\"I can't let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry.\\\" Dejected, he turned and walked away. The next married couple stepped up, and St.Peter told the husband, \\\"Can't let you in sir. While you were on earth, you allowed money to run your life. You even married a girl named Penny.\\\" The guy hung his head, turned and walked away. The husband of the third couple waiting in line, overheard both conversations and said, \\\"Come on, Fanny, he's not going to let us in either.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 208,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary: \\n\\n\\\"Two weeks ago,\\\" I said, \\\"was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say 'Good Morning' let alone say 'Happy Birthday'. \\n\\n\\\"I said to myself Well that's wives for you. The children will remember.' But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent. \\n\\nAs I walked into my office, Janet said 'Good Morning, Boss-Happy Birthday' and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I.' I said, 'By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Let's go.' \\n\\n\\\"We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go, we went out into the country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. \\n\\n\\\"On the way back to the office, she said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?' I said, 'No, I guess not.' \\n\\n\\\"She said, 'Let's go by my apartment, and I'll fix you another Martini.' \\n\\n\\\"We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable' and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all. \\n\\n\\\"She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were singing 'Happy Birthday' and there I sat with nothing on but my socks.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 209,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out on a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: \\\"Pierre, kiss me!\\\" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. \\\"What are you doing, Pierre?\\\", says the startled Marie. \\\"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!\\\" She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, \\\"Pierre, kiss me lower.\\\" Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. \\\"Pierre! What are you doing?\\\", asks the bewildered Marie. \\\"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!\\\" They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, \\\"Pierre, kiss me lower!\\\" Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, \\\"PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?\\\" Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, \\\"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 210,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.75\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home, he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.\\n\\\"Olympic condoms?\\\", she blurts, \\\"What makes them so special?\\\"\\n\\n\\\"There are three colors,\\\" he replies, \\\"Gold, Silver and Bronze.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"What color are you going to wear tonight?\\\", she asks cheekily.\\n\\n\\\"Gold of course,\\\" says the man proudly.\\n\\nThe wife responds, \\\"Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 211,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"\\\"Get this.\\\" said the English bloke to his mates, \\\"Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.\\\"Did he get anything?\\\" his mates asked.\\\"yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Bar Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 212,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.88\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.\\\"OK,\\\" the judge said, \\\"Tell the court why you want a divorce.\\\"\\\"Well, your honor,\\\" Dan started, \\\"Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I`d end up making love to her by mistake.\\\"\\\"Surely there must be some difference between the two women.\\\" the judge said.\\\"You`d better believe there is a difference, your honor. That`s why I want the divorce.\\\" he replied.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 213,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, \\\"Watch the wall!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 214,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A geezer walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall. \\\"Excuse me\\\" he says \\\"But I've lost my wife here somewhere and I can't find her. Could you please help me?\\\" \\\"What do you need me to do?\\\" asks the woman. \\\"Just stand here and talk to me\\\" the man replies. \\\"How's that going to help?\\\" she asks. \\\"No idea really...but every time I talk to a woman with hooters like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere!!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 215,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: \\\"Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up.\\\"He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.A week later he returns. His wife asks, \\\"Did you have a good trip, dear?\\\" He says, \\\"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.\\\"His wife smiles and says, \\\"Oh no, I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 216,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Pinocchio had just finished having sex with his girlfriend, and he asked her, \\\"So ... how was I?\\\" She said, \\\"Well, Pinocchio ... I hate to say this, but when we have sex, you give me splinters!\\\" Pinocchio was devastated. He went running to Gepetto, crying, \\\"My girlfriend says that when we have sex, I give her splinters! Is there anything you can do?\\\"Gepetto says, \\\"What you need, my boy, is a piece of sandpaper. Use this once a day, and that'll solve the problem.\\\"About a month later, Gepetto ran into Pinocchio on the street. \\\"How was that sandpaper I gave you?\\\" He asked. \\\"Are you still having problems with the girls?\\\"\\\"Girls?\\\" Pinocchio asked. \\\"Who needs girls?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 217,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.2\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"John receives a phone call. \\\"Hello,\\\" he answers. The voice on the other end says, \\\"This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.\\\" John: \\\"Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?\\\" Susan: \\\"Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.\\\" John: \\\"Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?\\\" Susan: \\\"I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself.\\\" John: \\\"Say, you ARE a good sport.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 218,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, \\\" We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.\\\"\\\"Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.\\\"Then the leader said to the group, \\\"What would you do if you knew youonly had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?\\\"A gentleman said, \\\" I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.\\\"\\\"Very good!\\\" ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, \\\"I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.\\\"\\\"That\\\"s wonderful!\\\" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, \\\"I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks.\\\"Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, \\\"Why your mother-in-law's home?\\\"\\\"Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 219,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note to the man. The note read: \\\"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1 million in liquid assets, and 7 inches in your pants.\\\"Well, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: \\\"Just so you know -- I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have well over $2 million in assets, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches! Send the bottle back.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 220,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. \\\"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?\\\" he said to her.\\\"I don't know,\\\" replied the beautiful young woman. \\\"It depends how personal it is.\\\"\\\"OK,\\\" the guy said. \\\"How many men have you slept with?\\\"\\\"I'm not going to tell you that!\\\" the woman exclaimed. \\\"That's my business!\\\"\\\"Sorry,\\\" said the guy, \\\"I didn't realize you made a living out of it.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 221,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work! But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished--something's up.It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.\\\"We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening.\\\"\\\"But what about afterward?\\\" asked her friends.\\\"Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 222,\r\n        \"rating\": 5.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. \\\"Elliot,\\\" she said, pointing \\\"do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?\\\"The husband looked over and nodded.\\\"Well,\\\" the woman continued, \\\"he's been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!\\\"The husband returned to his meal. \\\"Nonsense,\\\" he said, \\\"even that's not worth so much celebrating!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 223,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Abruptly, the girl stopped the boy dead in his tracks. \\\"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.\\\" The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the obligatory cigarette, the boy sat in the driver's seat, staring out the window. \\\"Why aren't we going anywhere?\\\" asked the girl. \\\"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 224,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. \\\"Grandpa, what are you doing?\\\" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. \\\"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?\\\" he asked again. The old man looked at him and said, \\\"Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 225,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. \\\"Screw me or climb the ladder to success,\\\" she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye. \\\"Screw me or climb the ladder to success,\\\" she said. \\\"Well,\\\" thought the man, \\\"might as well carry on.\\\" On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was quite attractive. \\\"Screw me now or climb the ladder to success,\\\" she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot. \\\"Screw me here and now or climb the ladder to success,\\\" she flirted. Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head. \\\"Who are you?\\\" the man asked. \\\"Hello\\\" said the ugly fat man, \\\"I'm Cess!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 226,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.83\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright - but after a few months he gets lonely... The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him \\\"Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it.\\\" The guy thinks for a minute and says, \\\"Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 227,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Stanley, an 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. \\\"I've never been better,\\\" he replies. \\\"I've got a twenty-two- year-old bride who's pregnant with my child! What do you think about that?\\\" The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, \\\"Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him? He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle... *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him.\\\" \\\"That's impossible!\\\" said the old man in disbelief, \\\"Someone else must have shot that beaver.\\\" \\\"EXACTLY!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 228,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.17\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini -\\\"I want to feel your breasts\\\" he exclaimed.\\\"Get away from me, you crazy old man\\\" she replied.\\\"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars,\\\" he says.\\\"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!\\\"\\\"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS\\\" he stated.\\\"NO! Get away from me!\\\"\\\"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS\\\" he offered.She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, \\\"I said NO!\\\"\\\"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts,\\\" he claimed.She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough...and $500 IS a lot of money....\\\"Well, OK...but only for a minute.\\\"She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started saying, \\\"OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...\\\" while he was caressing them.Out of curiosity, she asked him, \\\"Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my god, oh my god'?\\\"While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, \\\"OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 229,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, \\\"What are these, Dad?\\\" The man matter-of-factly replies, \\\"Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.\\\" \\\"Oh I see,\\\" replied the boys pensively. \\\"Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.\\\" He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, \\\"Why are there three in this package.\\\" The dad replies, \\\"Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.\\\" \\\"Cool!\\\" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks \\\"Then who are these for?\\\" \\\"Those are for college men,\\\" the dad answers, \\\"Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.\\\" \\\"WOW!\\\" exclaimed the boy. \\\"Then who uses these?\\\" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, \\\"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March.\\\" one for March.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 230,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. \\\" Hi, is Tony home?\\\" \\\" No, he went to the store.\\\" \\\"Well, you mind if I wait?\\\" \\\" No, come in.\\\" They sit down and the friend says \\\"You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.\\\" Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says \\\"They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together.\\\" Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says \\\"You know, your weird friend Chris came over. \\\" Tony thinks about this for a second and says \\\"Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 231,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A wife comes home after a shopping trip, and she's horrified to see her husband in bed with a young woman. She's about to storm out of the house, and the husband says \\\"But I can explain, dear. As I was driving home I saw this poor and tired-looking creature standing by the road, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her to our home and fed her some of your leftover pot roast. Her shoes were completely worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't wear because they're out of style. She was cold, so I gave her your new birthday sweater you never wear because you say the color doesn't suit you. Her slacks were tattered, so I gave her a pair of yours that don't fit you anymore. Then, just as she was about to leave our house, she stopped and asked me, 'Is there anything else your wife no longer uses?'\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 232,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. \\\"You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home.\\\" \\\"Why?\\\" asked somebody from the audience. \\\"I watched my wife's routine at dinner for years,\\\" the expert explained. \\\"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?' \\\"Did it save time?\\\" the guy in the audience asked. \\\"Actually, yes,\\\" replied the expert. \\\"It used to take her 30 minutes to make dinner. Now I do it in ten...\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 233,\r\n        \"rating\": 1.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man was asked to dinner by one of his friends, who he knew was an\\nunkempt housekeeper.\\n\\nWhen he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the\\ndirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.\\n\\n\\\"Were these dishes ever washed?\\\" he asked his hostess, running his\\nfingers over the grit and grime.\\n\\nShe replied, \\\"They're as clean as soap and water could get them.\\\"\\n\\nHe felt a bit apprehensive, but started eating anyway. It was really\\ndelicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes.\\n\\nWhen dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside, put them on the ground, and\\nyelled, \\\"Here Soap! Here Water! Come here boys!!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Food Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 234,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator. \\\"What are you doing?\\\" asked the mom. \\\"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband.\\\" The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head. The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. \\\"What the hell are you doing?\\\" he asked. His daughter replied, \\\"I already told mom, I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband.\\\" The father walked out of the room shaking his head too. The next day the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game. \\\"For Christsakes, what are you doing?\\\" she cried. The husband replied \\\"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 235,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Bob and Jane were married 25 years. When they first got married Bob said, \\\"I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.\\\" In all their 25 years of marriage Jane never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 25th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1371.75 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Jane could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, \\\"I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?\\\" Bob thought for a while and said, \\\"I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.\\\" Jane was shocked, but said, \\\"I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years.\\\" They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Jane asked Bob, \\\"Why do you have all that money in the box?\\\" Bob answered, \\\"Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 236,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.\\n\\nAs the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, \\\"Someone should go and tell his wife.\\\"\\n\\nBill says, \\\"OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.\\\" 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.\\n\\nCharlie says, \\\"Where did you get that, Bill?\\\" \\n\\n\\\"Steve's wife gave it to me.\\\"\\n\\n\\\"That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?\\\"\\n\\nBill says,\\\"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow.'\\\"\\n\\nShe said, \\\"No, I'm not a widow.\\\"\\n\\nAnd I said, \\\"Wanna bet me a six-pack?\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Crazy Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 237,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.38\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer. His friend says, \\\"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.\\\" The man then replies, \\\"Yeah, well we were married 35 years.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 238,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, \\\"Stop making love down there!\\\" \\\"What's the matter with you?\\\" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '\\\"We weren't making love.\\\" \\\"Sorry,\\\" said the sailor, \\\"From up there it looked like you were.\\\" Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself, \\\"By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 239,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION10 MILESHe thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign which says:SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION5 MILESSuddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying:SISTERS OF ST, FRANCISHOUSE OF PROSTITUTIONNEXT RIGHTHis curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:SISTERS OF ST. FRANCISHe climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, \\\"What may we do for you, my son?\\\" He answers, \\\"I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business.\\\" \\\"Very well, my son. Please follow me.\\\" He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, \\\"Please knock on this door.\\\" He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in long habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs, \\\"Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway.\\\" He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:GO IN PEACEYOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWEDBY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 240,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with the devil. Devil: Why so glum, chum? Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell. Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays That's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab, and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more. Guy: Gee, that sounds great. Devil: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it. Devil: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie - you're already dead, remember? Guy: Wow. That's awesome. Devil: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. Devil: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. Devil: You into drugs? Guy: Are you kidding? I love drugs. You don't mean.... Devil: That's right Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's alright - you're dead, who cares? O.D.!! Guy: Yowza!! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place. Devil: You gay? Guy: No.... Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), You're gonna hate Fridays . . .\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 241,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, \\\"Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!\\\" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, \\\"I won the prize for the best toast of the night.\\\" She said, \\\"Aye, John, what was your toast?\\\" John Said, \\\"Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife.\\\" \\\"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John,\\\" Mary said.The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, \\\"John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary.\\\"She said, \\\"Aye and I was a bit surprised myself! You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 242,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.4\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Man comes back home at 3am, drunk as a skunk. He hears the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, he cuckooes nine more times, hoping his wife would think it was midnight. He is very proud of himself.The next day, his wife asks what time he got home, and he replies, \\\"Midnight, just like I said.\\\" She says that was good, but that theyneed a new cuckoo clock. When the man asks why, she answers: \\\"Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed threetimes, said 'Damn!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two moretimes and then started giggling.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Bar Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 243,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. \\\"Look, I\\u2019ll give you \\u00a3100 if you\\u2019ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I\\u2019m to promise to \\u2018love, honor and obey\\u2019 and \\u2018forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,\\u2019 I\\u2019d appreciate it if you\\u2019d just leave that part out.\\\" He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom\\u2019s vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says:\\\"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?\\\" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, \\\"Yes.\\\" The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, \\\"I thought we had a deal.\\\" The vicar put the \\u00a3100 into his hand and whispered back, \\\"She made me a much better offer.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 244,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off, \\\"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.\\\"The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, \\\"See! That was more than 5 times a month!\\\" The second bull is to be sold, \\\"Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.\\\" Again the wife bugs her husband, \\\"Hey, that's some 5 times a month. What do you say to that?\\\" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison. The third bull is up for sale, \\\"And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!\\\" The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, \\\"That's once a day, every day of the year! How about you?\\\" The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, \\\"Sure, once a day! Great! But, you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 245,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.The following is a list of wyh I did not succeed more often:54 times the sheets were clean.17 times it was too late.49 times you were too tired.20 times it was too hot.15 times you pretended to be asleep.22 times you had a headache.17 times you were afraid of waking the baby.16 times you said you were too sore.12 times it was the wrong time of month.19 times you had to get up early.9 times you said you weren't in the mood.7 times you were sunburned.6 times you were watching the late show.5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo.3 times you said the neighbors would hear us.9 times you said your mother would hear us.Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:6 times you just laid there.8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling.4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with.7 times I had to wake you and tell you I was finished.1 time I was afriad I had hurt you because I felt you move.TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:5 times you come home drunk and tried to screw the cat.36 times you didn't come home at all.21 times you didn't cum.33 times you came too soon.19 times you went soft before you got in.38 times you worked too late.10 times you got cramps in your toes.29 times you had to get up early to play golf.2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls.4 times you git it stuck in your zipper.3 times you had a cold and your nose was running.2 times you had a splinter in your finger.20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day.6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book.98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV.Of the times we did get together:The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, \\\"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?\\\"The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Bar Jokes\",\r\n        \"id\": 246,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for\\nhis thesis work. He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take\\nhim up the river to the remote site he where he would make his\\ncollections.\\n\\nAbout noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to\\nhear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the biologist was disturbed\\nby this. He asked the guide, \\\"What are those drums?\\\" The guide\\nturned to him and said, \\\"Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop.\\\"\\n\\nThe biologist settled down a little at this, and things went\\nreasonably well for about two weeks. Then, just as they were packing\\nup the camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped!\\n\\nThis hit the biologist like a ton of bricks, and he yelled at the\\nguide, \\\"The drums have stopped - what happens now?\\\"\\n\\nThe guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said: \\\"Bass Solo\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Aviation\",\r\n        \"id\": 247,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.5\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said \\\"I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double.\\\" The man agreed, and said \\\"I wish I had a mansion.\\\" The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said \\\"I would like a million dollars.\\\" The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, \\\"Scare me half to death.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 248,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.25\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Anxious to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, \\\"So where are you flying to today?\\\" She turns and smiles, and says, \\\"To the annual Nymphomaniac Convention, in Chicago.\\\" He swallows hard, and is instantly CRAZED with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him, and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, \\\"And what's your role at this convention?\\\" She flips her hair back, turns to him, locks onto his eyes and says, \\\"Well, I try to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.\\\" \\\"Really\\\" he says, swallowing hard. \\\"And what myths are those?\\\" She explains, \\\"Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance women best, on average.\\\" \\\"Very interesting,\\\" the man responds. Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed, and blushes. \\\"I'm sorry,\\\" she says, \\\"I feel so awkward discussing this with you, and I don't even know your name.\\\" The man extends his hand and replies, \\\"Tonto... Tonto Goldstein.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Aviation\",\r\n        \"id\": 249,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.33\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"In a Poor town in the middle of nowhere and no women, A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, \\\"How can you live in this town without any women?\\\". The bartender replies, \\\"It's not that bad, sir, when we get lonely we go out back where there is a barrel with a knothole in it. It never sounds appeasing at first, but after one try you're hooked.\\\"So after a few beers, the guy starts getting a little lonely and tells the bartender he's gonna go find the barrel.At that, he walks up to the barrel and sticks it in the knothole.After about 5 minutes he ventures back to the bar and tells the bartender, \\\"Man, that's the greatest stuff I've ever had!! What do I owe ya?\\\".To which the bartender replies, \\\"Nothing, but it's your turn to get in the barrel\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 250,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, \\\"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?\\\"\\\"You'll know tonight.\\\" he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.Delighted, she opened it-only to find a book entitled \\\"The meaning of dreams\\\".\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 251,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A Farmer walks into the local bar and sits down at the bar. The Farmer mumbles, \\\"Some things I just can't explain.\\\" The bartender, who knows the Farmer as Jim, asks, \\\"What do you mean Jim?\\\".\\\"Well, you know my old cow Betsy? I was milking her this morning and out of the blue she knocks the pail of milk over with her right back leg. So I picked up a piece of rope laying nearby and cut me off a piece. I tied her leg to the post nearby, but some things I just can't explain,\\\" Jim said. \\\"Jim, What do you mean by that,\\\" the Bartender asks. \\\"Well, I commenced to milking her again and when the pail got half full she kick it over with her left back leg. So I took the left over piece of rope and tied her other leg to another post, but some things I just can't explain,\\\" Jim added. \\\"Jim, tell me what it is you can't explain and I'll see if I can help,\\\" the Bartender said.\\\"Well, after that I went back to milking her and again I got the pail half full and I'll be darned if she didn't knock the pail over with her tail. Since I didn't have any more rope left I took off my belt and tied one end to her tail. Then I stood up on my stool and reached up to hook the buckle on a nail just above. About that time my pants fell to my ankles and my wife walks into the barn. That's what I can't explain.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 252,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulatingenough frequent flyer miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talkingabout all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if theyhave laptop computers, how they make money, etc.Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. \\\"Just how do you guys doit?\\\" asks Maureen. \\\"Pretty much the way you do,\\\" responds the Martian.Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for thenight and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to abedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie memberabout half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.\\\"I don't think this is going to work,\\\" says Maureen.\\\"Why?\\\" he asks, \\\"What's the matter?\\\"\\\"Well,\\\" she replies, \\\"It's just not long enough to reach me!\\\"\\\"No problem,\\\" he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quiteimpressively long.\\\"Well,\\\" she says, \\\"That's quite impressive, but it's still prettynarrow....\\\"\\\"No problem,\\\" he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, hismember grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremelyexciting to the woman.\\\"Wow!\\\" she exclaims, as they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love.The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go theirseparate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks \\\"Well, was it any good?\\\"\\\"I hate to say it,\\\" says Maureen, \\\"but it was pretty wonderful. How aboutyou?\\\"\\\"It was horrible,\\\" he replies. \\\"All I got was a headache. She keptslapping my forehead and pulling my ears.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 253,\r\n        \"rating\": 4.67\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. The old man says, \\\"I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob).\\\"The young jogger says, \\\"Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?\\\"The old man says, \\\"I can't remember where I live.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 254,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a mancomes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.\\\"No\\\", he said, \\\"the seat is empty\\\".\\\"This is incredible\\\", said the man. \\\"Who in their right mind wouldhave a seat like this for the Super Bowl , the biggest sport event in theworld, and not use it ?\\\"Somberly, the man says, \\\"Well... the seat actually belongs to me. Iwas supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is thefirst Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967.\\\"\\\"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someoneelse - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?\\\"The man shakes his head, \\\"No. They're all at the funeral.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 255,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"This little boy woke up three nights in a row because he kept hearing thumping noises coming from his parent's room. He finally approached his mom and said, \\\"Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in, you're bouncing up and down on him.\\\"His mom is taken by surprise and says, \\\"Oh...well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again.\\\"The boy says, \\\"That won't work.\\\" His mom asks, \\\"Why?\\\" The boy replies, \\\"Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 256,\r\n        \"rating\": 3.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, \\\"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?\\\" The man says no.Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, \\\"This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?\\\" The man replies, \\\"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967.\\\"\\\"Well, that's really sad,\\\" says Bob, \\\"but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?\\\"\\\"No,\\\" the man replies, \\\"they're all at the funeral.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Men\",\r\n        \"id\": 257,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    },\r\n    {\r\n        \"body\": \"A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. \\\"But how will I let you know the baby is born?\\\" she asked. He replied, \\\"Just send me a postcard and write \\\"spaghetti\\\" on the back. I'll take care of expenses.\\\" Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, \\\"Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means.\\\" The doctor said, \\\"Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.\\\" Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read: \\\"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without.\\\"\",\r\n        \"category\": \"Medical\",\r\n        \"id\": 258,\r\n        \"rating\": 2.0\r\n    }\r\n]";


        static Boolean welcomeMsg = false;
        private Boolean goodChoice= false;
        const String welcomeStr = "Welcome to ultramsg bot Demo \n \nPlease type one of these *commands*:\n";
        const String whatsappMenu = 
                "1️⃣ : Show server time.\n"+
                "2️⃣ : Send Image.\n"+
                "3️⃣ : Send Document.\n"+
                "4️⃣ : Send Audio.\n"+
                "5️⃣ : Send Voice.\n"+
                "6️⃣ : Send Video.\n"+
                "7️⃣ : Send Contact.\n"+
                "8️⃣ : Send Random Sentence.\n"+
                "9️⃣ : Send Random Joke.\n"+
                "🔟 : Send Random Image.\n";

        public ChatService(IOptions<AppSettings> appSettings)
        {
            _appSettings = appSettings.Value;
              

        }

        public string? OnChat(string number, string? id)
        {
            RestClient client = new RestClient();

            var request = new RestRequest(string.Empty, Method.Post);
            request.AddHeader("content-type", "application/x-www-form-urlencoded");
            request.AddQueryParameter("token", _appSettings.Token);
            request.AddQueryParameter("to", number);

         
            if (welcomeMsg == false)
            {
                welcomeMsg = true;
                id = "0";
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/chat");
                request.AddQueryParameter("body", welcomeStr  + whatsappMenu);
            }


            if (id == "1" )
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/chat");
                request.AddQueryParameter("body", DateTime.Now);
                goodChoice = true;
            }




            if (id == "2")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/image");
                request.AddQueryParameter("image", "https://file-example.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com/images/test.jpg");
                request.AddQueryParameter("caption", "Image Caption");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

        
            if (id == "3")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/document");
                request.AddQueryParameter("filename", "hello.pdf");
                request.AddQueryParameter("document", "https://file-example.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com/documents/cv.pdf");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "4")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/audio");
                request.AddQueryParameter("audio", "https://file-example.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com/audio/2.mp3");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "5")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/voice");
                request.AddQueryParameter("audio", "https://file-example.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com/voice/oog_example.ogg");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "6")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/video");
                request.AddQueryParameter("video", "https://file-example.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com/video/test.mp4");
                request.AddQueryParameter("caption", "Video Caption");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "7")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/contact");
                request.AddQueryParameter("contact", "14000000001@c.us");
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "8")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/chat");
                var randomIndex = _random.Next(0, _randomSentences.Length - 1);
                request.AddQueryParameter("body", _randomSentences[randomIndex]);
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "9")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/chat");
                var jokes = JsonSerializer.Deserialize<List<Joke>>(_randomJokes, new JsonSerializerOptions() { PropertyNameCaseInsensitive = true});
                var randomIndex = _random.Next(0, jokes.Count - 1);
                request.AddQueryParameter("body", jokes[randomIndex].Body);
                goodChoice = true;
            }

            if (id == "10")
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/image");
                var randomIndex = _random.Next(1, 100);
                Console.WriteLine(randomIndex);
                request.AddQueryParameter("image", $"https://ultramsg.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/image-example/{randomIndex}.jpg");
                request.AddQueryParameter("caption", $"Random Image {randomIndex}");
                goodChoice = true;
            }


            if (goodChoice ==false)
            {
                client = new RestClient($"https://api.ultramsg.com/{_appSettings.InstanceId}/messages/chat");
                request.AddQueryParameter("body", "``` 📢 Incorrect command 📢 ```\nPlease type one of these *commands*:\n" + whatsappMenu);
            }


                if (client != null)
            {
                var response = client.Execute(request);
                if (response.IsSuccessful)
                    return string.Empty;
                return response.ErrorMessage;
            }
            return string.Empty;
        }
    }
}