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github-actions[bot] committed Dec 2, 2024
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Expand Up @@ -29,37 +29,38 @@ Begin by reflecting what you sense in their comment. Use phrases like:
* "It sounds like there’s more for me to understand about what you just said."

These responses show that you recognize a deeper concern without escalating the situation.
#### 2. Seek Clarification
Ask, “Should I read into that?”
* This invites the person to clarify their statement
* Even if they respond “no,” they’ll be more mindful in future conversations knowing that their comments won’t be ignored
#### 3. Address Feelings Directly
Kindly and genuinely ask, “How are you feeling?”
- This can create a safe space for the other person to express what’s really bothering them
- Often, addressing emotions leads to a more productive discussion and resolution

#### What Not to Do

Avoid explicitly calling out the behavior as passive aggressive, such as saying, “That was a bit passive aggressive.” This approach is likely to put the other person on the defensive and escalate tension.

::: greybox
A teammate says, "I didn’t realize you suddenly cared about deadlines."
:::
::: bad
Figure: Bad Example - Responding defensively with, “That was a bit passive aggressive. What’s your problem?” escalates tension and makes the situation worse
:::
::: good

#### 2. Seek Clarification

Ask, “Should I read into that?”

* This invites the person to clarify their statement
* Even if they respond “no,” they’ll be more mindful in future conversations knowing that their comments won’t be ignored

#### 3. Address Feelings Directly

Kindly and genuinely ask, “How are you feeling?”
* This can create a safe space for the other person to express what’s really bothering them
* Often, addressing emotions leads to a more productive discussion and resolution

#### What Not to Do

Avoid explicitly calling out the behavior as passive aggressive, such as saying, “That was a bit passive aggressive.” This approach is likely to put the other person on the defensive and escalate tension.

::: greybox
A teammate says, "I didn’t realize you suddenly cared about deadlines."
:::
::: bad
Figure: Bad Example - Responding defensively with, “That was a bit passive aggressive. What’s your problem?” escalates tension and makes the situation worse
:::
::: good
Figure: Good Example - Responding kindly with, “It sounds like there’s more to that. How are you feeling about the deadlines?” opens the door to a constructive conversation
:::
:::

### Why This Works

### Why This Works
1. **De-escalation:** Thoughtful responses defuse tension and avoid accusations
2. **Clarity:** Direct questions about feelings or intent help uncover the real issue
3. **Resolution:** Focusing on emotions often resolves misunderstandings and fosters better communication
1. **De-escalation:** Thoughtful responses defuse tension and avoid accusations
2. **Clarity:** Direct questions about feelings or intent help uncover the real issue
3. **Resolution:** Focusing on emotions often resolves misunderstandings and fosters better communication

By responding with empathy and professionalism, you can handle passive aggressive comments effectively, maintain a positive atmosphere, and build stronger relationships within your team.

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