XS✔ ◾ update-handle-passive-aggressive-comments-rule (#9638)

* update-handle-passive-aggressive-comments-rule

* Auto-fix Markdown files

* Update rule.md

* Auto-fix Markdown files

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Co-authored-by: github-actions[bot] <github-actions[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>

categories/client-engagement/rules-to-better-software-consultants-working-in-a-team.md

@@ -22,6 +22,7 @@ index:
 - send-done-videos
 - how-to-take-feedback-or-criticism
 - understand-the-power-of-empathy
+- handle-passive-aggressive-comments
 - go-the-extra-mile
 - browser-remove-clutter
 - standards-watchdog

rules/accepting-unsolicited-feedback/rule.md

@@ -16,6 +16,7 @@ related:
   - feedback-avoid-chopping-down-every-example
   - do-you-know-the-nice-way-to-correct-someone
   - feedback-avoid-chopping-down-every-example
+  - handle-passive-aggressive-comments      
 redirects:
   - how-to-accept-unsolicited-feedback
 ---

rules/handle-passive-aggressive-comments/rule.md

@@ -6,7 +6,10 @@ authors:
   - title: Adam Cogan
     url: https://ssw.com.au/people/adam-cogan
 created: 2024-11-25T12:00:00.000Z
-guid: e2b5c77a-c3d6-4d54-9ec2-5c219a8f2bbf
+related:
+  - understand-the-power-of-empathy     
+  - accepting-unsolicited-feedback      
+guid: e2b5c77a-c3d6-4d54-9ec2-5c219a8f2bbf       
 ---
 Passive aggressive comments can hinder effective communication and breed resentment in a team. Addressing such comments thoughtfully can transform a frustrating interaction into a productive discussion.
 
@@ -36,22 +39,29 @@ Ask, “Should I read into that?”
 
 #### 3. Address Feelings Directly
 
-Ask, “How are you feeling?”— genuinely and calmly
+Kindly and genuinely ask, “How are you feeling?”
 
-* Many people use passive aggression because they struggle to express their feelings openly
-* Discussing emotions can lead to a more honest and constructive dialogue
+* This can create a safe space for the other person to express what’s really bothering them
+* Often, addressing emotions leads to a more productive discussion and resolution
+
+#### What Not to Do
+
+Avoid explicitly calling out the behavior as passive aggressive, such as saying, “That was a bit passive aggressive.” This approach is likely to put the other person on the defensive and escalate tension.
 
 ::: greybox
 A teammate says, "I didn’t realize you suddenly cared about deadlines."
 :::
+::: bad
+Figure: Bad Example - Responding defensively with, “That was a bit passive aggressive. What’s your problem?” escalates tension and makes the situation worse
+:::
 ::: good
-Figure: Good Example - Responding thoughtfully by saying, “It sounds like there’s more to that. How are you feeling about the deadlines?”
+Figure: Good Example - Responding kindly with, “It sounds like there’s more to that. How are you feeling about the deadlines?” opens the door to a constructive conversation
 :::
 
 ### Why This Works
 
-1. **De-escalation:** Acknowledging subtext without reacting defensively creates a safe space for honest communication
-2. **Clarity:** Direct questions about feelings or intent eliminate misunderstandings
-3. **Resolution:** Focusing on emotions often uncovers the root issue, enabling you to address it collaboratively
+1. **De-escalation:** Thoughtful responses defuse tension and avoid accusations
+2. **Clarity:** Direct questions about feelings or intent help uncover the real issue
+3. **Resolution:** Focusing on emotions often resolves misunderstandings and fosters better communication
 
-By approaching passive aggressive comments with these strategies, you can maintain professionalism, encourage openness, and build stronger team dynamics.
+By responding with empathy and professionalism, you can handle passive aggressive comments effectively, maintain a positive atmosphere, and build stronger relationships within your team.

rules/understand-the-power-of-empathy/rule.md

@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ authors:
   - title: Ulysses Maclaren
     url: https://ssw.com.au/people/ulysses-maclaren
 related:
+  - handle-passive-aggressive-comments
 ---
 
 Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand what they’re feeling. In a deeply technical profession like software engineering, it might not sound like a useful tool but nothing is further from the truth.